Gememories

Wednesday, August 31

continued from previous post

kaes i am back hm i shall continue from my previous previous post on teachers' day celebration in dhs. the part on daniel and his friends dancing away. zhiwei and er wei chien oso up there laa. then erh wei chien was the 'batman' then he was the star of the dance lorhs. actually nothing much to elaborate on the dance. jus that its super duper entertaining and funny, cracked the whole school up. then the last part of the dance was quite so called the impressive. they pretended to bow but were intending to tie their shoelaces. quite unexpected har. but the effectt was there. then after the dance they invited teachers up on stage to dance with them. Mr Ang, Mr Lu, Ms Loh and Ms Pear plus some other teachers were invited. Then Mr Lu danced until very cute. Mr Ang too. All the teachers were enthusiastic. yups. teachers' day mahhh >.<

then erm that last part of the concert was a performance by the teachers. Mr Ang played the guitar, Mrs Phua played the keyboard, Mr Yeo (issit?) played the drums. Ms Loh, Ms Yeo and another teacher sang. One teacher played the harmonica then another teacher played the keyboard too. Altogether there were 3 songs sang. First was 'If we hold on together...' the atmosphere was kinda tensed then. yq, sm, yl and i tried to sway our arms and stuff but to no avail. so ya. second song was 'dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui'. and and. Mr Loh sang the song!! His vocal very nice lehs!! niceee (: then we started to stand up and put our arms around each other and swayed to the song. yipppeeess. 3J class spirit (: i think the guys swayed too eh. hahas.

third song was dunno called young ones arh? its an old song but the lyrics are very meaningful. then danced abit of retro dancesteps with shumin but very embarrassing. After that went back to class to get food stuff for party. Then i continued writing the cards for the teachers. Then went to the canteen for partaye. But the space was quite constrained cos its in the canteen. I prefer it to be held in the zheng xin yuan. Anyway all of us brought a lot of food this year. yayy. karped a pizza. Thanks Eileen (: then shared the sandwiches i brought. the cheese kinda melt alittle and its veh nice. there was overwhelming positive response. hahas. then ate the cucumber and sausages etc. Nice nice. yummy =) then went around giving presents to the teachers. the whole school was in party mood. Ohya jess and i got tricked by the sec1s, cushka to be specific. They 'kindly' treated us to pringles. and you noe what they added like so much of pepper to the pringles and my lips had this burning sensation for a long time. argh. not forgetting my mouth was painful from the inflating of balloons that morning ohwells. april fool- me.

after that went back to class to get bag and i continued to write my cards then put in the teachers' lockers then i took cab to aljunied mrt with shumin. it was quite late le so yups. saw leong hwee then we went to look for mrs chia. then most of the teachers were not around as there's teachers' contact time on every wednesday. this has been a tradition since my days in primary school. awww i miss the old times.

then waited at the foyer till mrs tok came out during the lunch break from the meeting. chatted with her. She didnt change, still the same mrs tok i used to know and respect and still do. I will never forget the motivation and guidance she gave during my psle year.

then alvin tan, my classmates in p1 and 2 came then lh and him went to look for mrs wang. Erh very long never see him le. actually lost contact with him till i saw him today. taller but still looked the same bahs. then we tried to go to the hall to look for teachers when mr chan shooed us off to the canteen. then three of us decided to play hide and seek with him so we went up to the classrooms by another staircase. there are like so many staircases, practically uncountable. then very fun lorhs. i almost walked towards the hall with mr chan standing there without knowing that. then they reminded me and we ran away LOL.

then waited outside the staffroom for the teachers' meeting to end. and finally saw ms tong ah (: saw chan huiyi, liqing, huiying, syeyuet and julia from 6ch02, koktong, hannah, tabitha etc from other classes. Saw Wayne and Wei Qiang. They were looking for Mrs (Patricia) Ng. Ohya saw kathleen oso. Then we waited outside the staffroom for almost like eternity lorhs. then some boliao ppl arh sitting opposite me then took out his camera and started taking candid shots of me when i was reading lime mag and listening to my caihongyanlei >.< meanie. the shots are not nice kaes but thanks for sending them to me. heee.

then erh kathleen and i went to makan lunch in the canteen with authorised permission from Miss Wong yayy. I bought chicken noodles from the lou mee stall and ribena from the quench stall. kathleen bought rice and mashed potato from the indian stall. ate and chatted. nursyahidah came to look for us. She was holding this photograph taken during prefect workshop in the beginning of this year. I previously saw the photo on the prefect board during the game of hide and seek with mr chan. hehe. the photo is a group photo. but i think i looked quite funny inside. then tried to find mrs soh so that i can pass her her teachers' day present and get the photo from her. heee. then finally got to see and talked to her abit with her sticking her head out of the conference room. they were having some really serious meeting or stuff. yups she said she asked rachel to pass the photo to me.

today is a fruitful day. got to visit the teacher and chatted with them. there were quite a number of new teachers. although i dunno them, i still smiled and greeted them with a 'happy teachers' day' when i saw them around. hm after that went home. it was already 3 plus. then slacked and tidied room for LA filming.

Then jh, sm, jess and ct came. and the filming started. the first scene for today was my single scene and the second scene in the film if i am not wrong. It was a warm up for me bahs. aiya suibian pai lorhs. then filmed filmed until the crying scene!! ahhh. that part was terrible. my room was in a chaotic state hahas with all the props scattered all over. then my eyes were dry. no tears. no redness. jh they all tried scolding me but that only made me laugh. then they created this very quiet and dark environment for me to watch tonghua's mv but this time i didnt cry. perhaps cos there wasnt sadness inside of me. then finally jh reminded me of wad dyl did when i went to his class to look for tingxu on monday. his reaction to the smell of cologne was well interesting~ yeah. hahas. then i started laughing and the tears were formed. this scene was quite long then we ng for many times cos forgot script and wrong timing etc.

there was one last scene after that and the filming lasted till 7 plus which is very late. my dad went for his workouts at his gym so he cant give them rides home. apologies ppl~ and they were impressed by my dad's muscular body and asking me how come i didnt go for workout with him. okae i am rounded. hahas

we watched the scenes taken and the ng takes were very very funny. ohya for the crying scene, shumin suggested wearing my contacts so that my eyes would appear watery. thats why i wore the contacts and i lazy to take out so jus wear it for the scene. yuppps. hm

today is a happy day~ whee. except that i only managed to catch a little part of my music diary story. its ok. its alright. hahas. filming is nicee~~ and it's a total success.

we are left with 3 scenes and they will be completed on friday and editing will then start on friday and hopefully completed on saturday. wish us luck. all's going well. we have good actress and best of all, an excellent cameraman. trust me, no no, trust us, chongthee is a very pro cameraman/director.

i am tired. tomorrow will be a day of piaing for geog. wish me luck and yes i need lotsa it. thanks. and smile always kaes (:

yayy LA filming a success

yayy LA filming today was a success and yes its a total success this time though there were some obstacles. well i shall talk about that later. something bad just happened. that teddy bear hp keychain which yy and yl gave me on valentine day just attempted suicide. there was a bowl of water and contact lens solution on my table due to reasons regarding filming and i was about to remove it one or two minutes later when the mini teddy bear just jumped or no. dropped into the bowl of water. it is currently on my printer and being air dried. LOL this is lame but whatever. i am happy (: very happy =) no more tears. no more anxiety. and NOT that stressed anymore. and one last conclusion:

friends are the rainbow of my life;
and it is proven that they will be the rainbow which will accompany my tears- cai hong yan lei (this conclusion is drawn from our LA film)

and yea i hafta go for dinner and so yea more details on teachers' day celebration in dhs, visiting the teachers in gmps as well as the LA filming later, provided that i will not be too tired to type teeheehee. stay tune and keep your finger crossed but in the meantime, remember to smile (:

happy teachers' day~

there was teachers' day celebration in dhs. couldnt wake up in time to make sandwiches for the party cos i got so carried away with making of cards and wrapping of presents last night that it went right past midnight and almost 2am. argh. but lucky i have my mommy to help me. i told her to try to roll the sandwich+ cheese+ ham into something like swiss roll but she said that its impossible as the bread and cheese and ham wld crack. ohwell. so its still the normal type of mini sandwiches in the end. so sad! no swiss roll sandwiches heehee. too bad >.<

i managed to listen to my horoscope for the day on the way to school. when i got downstairs and into the car, my dad told me that the first section of horoscope was already over, but fortunately gemini was in the second section and it said that today my luck cld be considered quite good except that i wld have difficulties working with some people and might have to face some reality or stuff. i cant really remember but thats abt it. my lucky colour is orange (yayys) and lucky number 7.

had this funny tasting hot dog bun for breakfast. I was too tired to be tempted by the sandwiches for the party laa. Reached school then started signing the cards i made last night. i made the cards but i had no time to sign it. So oh well. then we were very late for flag raising but actually i didnt even go down to the parade square cos the meihui and hengjie grabbed me halfway to inflate balloons for the celebration party later. Yes and so i started inflating the balloons with my carbon dioxide with shue ling early in the morning. i think i inflated hm 3 in all. then there were balloons bursting but my screams werent stimulated, surprisingly.

went down to the canteen with masking tape and scotchtape to tie the balloons to the pillars. we kinda cheated cos the raffia string wasnt long enough. and suddenly one balloon burst and it was so loud and something LOUD followed almost immediately after it and that of cos was my scream. it was so embarrassing and shue ling reminded me that that was a LOUD scream ohgosh. and obviously i was the only one who screamed. wow.

then a second balloon burst and i screamed again. maybe softer this time. but i was still the only one who had screamed since there were only shue ling, colin, li li and me in the canteen. ohwell. and finally when a third balloon burst, i DID NOT scream. yayy immune to the bursting of balloons finally but i think it wouldnt stay for long.

went up to the hall for the concert. the performances were really nice and entertaining. the retro dances in retro costumes were really eye-opening. lol and not forgetting the stars of today, the teachers, they were dressed in retro clothing too. Mrs Tan BK looked really cute in her red dress. Ms Yeo looked pretty. Mr Har looked cool. In all, the teachers looked marvellous. Totally retro (:

then there was this particular performance where daniel and his friends danced some super funny and dumb dance about batman dancing. oh wait, before that eds did their dance and i think the dance is super nice nehh. and the costumes. woohoo~ kaes back to the batman dance. erh the guys were wearing those plastic masks which are common sights at er pasar malam? ya then they were dancing away...

gosh i need to fetch shumin and others from the mrt station for LA filming so thats all for now. i will continue about the concert and party later kaes tata later~

Sunday, August 28

more rainbows

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all the rainbows still fail to stop my tears. but at least i know they are there for me and they will always be there till i find my rainbow in the dark... till then i know i am not alone.

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sunny day, sweeping the tears (clouds) away...

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to all my friends: heres a rainbow lining all my blessings, wishing that you are happy and joyful every single day.

rainbows

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i love rainbows~ arent they beautiful? -dont you love them too (:

csp reflection.

sigh still feeling kinda depressed. the depression and anxiety just refused to go away. and the tears will just fall, free and fast. erh no. i wont cry. i refused to let a tear drop. but ohwells i am not that strong after all. whatever.

i am currently struggling with csp reflection. its really horrifying trust me. my mood was really lousy today and i am easily irritable as usual. but a call from jelly really brightened my day. thnks alot jelly~

hm LA filming yesterday was relatively good. except that i spent 10 bucks buying a lousy and useless rainbow-coloured kite. but at least it was some use in our film and i have started to fall in love with rainbows and stuff. i love sweety's cai hong yan lei to bits cann. its currently on 'repeat track' mode on my zen and i have listened to more than 10 times these few days. broke my record le. when i am not listening to my zen i will be humming the tune. no more of SHE's yes i love you.

no love for me. i am not falling in love ever again. not to even mention confessing my love. yucks. whatever.

let me continue talking about yesterday's filming. met with the others at kallang mrt at 730 in the morning. yes you didnt see wrongly. its SEVEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING. when i should have been sleeping and dreaming happily where no worries can find me.

but i woke up early and dad fetched me to the mrt station. i was in my usual outfit. bermudas and tee laa. then listened to cai hong yan lei while waiting for jess and wj. then we decided to change venue and walked to take a taxi to the basketball court at kampong arang. and you noe what, we actually lost our way. or rather i led the way to a dead end. sorry abt that.

then we took the wrong bus. and finally we took taxi to the destination. the taxi driver was nice. filmed our scene and there were NGs like how many times. and i kept walking back and fro. the sun was scorching hot and i was perspiring like crazy. then we played volleyball and used volleyball to play basketball cos wj havent come so no bball. then he came and filmed the scene. gosh i was like sitting in the scorching sun. ahhh. after that finally i had a reward. jelly and i bought ourselves snickers bar. yummy. snicker bars jus rawk. and i received help with my diet. so i only ate half a snicker bar.

took bus to city hall then to marina bay. it was a hot day and we bought drinks to cool ourselves down. there wasnt much wind and hence kite flying wasnt very successful and maybe cos we were too ambitious. hm but eventually we finished filming and on the way home we were.

was really tired after reaching home so i decided to take a nap. only to realise that the nap actually lasted till like 730 PM?!! from 2 plus to 7pm. you can understand how weary i was. all the filming and stress i am facing. i have never been this stressed before. not even when i was taking eoy at the end of the year or psle. NEVER. sigh.

when i woke up and was going to take a bath, i realised that my arms and face were red. yes sunburn. ah theres a price to pay for everything in life. and i had to sacrifice for filming. hmm whenever i get sunburn, it will be so distinct cos i am fair. when i told my parents abt my sunburn, i got nagged at for not putting on sunblock lotion. i mean i didnt know i wld be sitting in the sun anyway, i had on moisturiser so maybe it wasnt that bad. my cheeks are exceptionally pink and rosy now.

woke up really early this morning. studied bio. but crap i cant remember much. gosh. i think my ambition can never be fulfilled. and all my efforts shall prove to be futile. aiya. how come i become so pessimistic nowadays. jelly is getting more optimistic conversely. i guess what goes around comes around. but i hate pessimism!! maybe thats why i am starting to hate life and worst, myself.

this is bad. i hope everything will return to what it used to be. but i noe one thing cannot. and it will never be the same again. but whatever it is, i will learn to be strong and i know i will never be alone cos i have friends, who will always be there for me and of cos, the rainbow which will always be there for me when i tear. the sunshine will accompany with my smile when a brand new day comes. maybe life isnt that bad after all. hm i can feel my optimism returning.

and for now i just wanna say~ i love all my friends. i really do. thanks lots for being there for me. you are greatly appreciated and loved (: esp those who have been accompanying me through this period of utter depression and blue-ness.

for i know with you, i will never stay blue.

Thursday, August 25

LA crisis

i am currently suffering from a seriously bad case of depression and one should know better than to provoke me at this time especially after i have warned you. this is no joke so dont laugh.

I cant think now. I cant visualize. I cant organize my thoughts. I cant even focus on something. I just cant or rather I dunno how.

There is currently this Language Arts Crisis going right now for my group. And things are getting rather bad. for all i know the deadline is next week. yes we did film happily yesterday but somehow some of the shopping scenes got deleted as the scenes overlapped with the volleyball scenes. And no one is to blame for that. Really. dont feel remorseful or sad kaes. cos no one is at fault. really.

we have several scenes to rush out before the deadline. not to mention the editing of the video as well as voice over. We apparently have like at least 6 venues and more than 6 scenes to shoot and things seem to be rather terrible.

Its definitely necessary for everyone to sit down and discuss everything peacefully now since fiery disputes wouldnt help a teeny bit. so well thats wad we did. i just worked out this schedule on the filming dates and venues, as well as the props and attire etc. Everything seems so organized till i realised that i left out some problems. like the photos needed. and it didnt help that there are 3 tests next week with 2 of them on the same tuesday and with all the reflections to be done and this stoooopid LA film. wdh. wad can i say.

trust me. i havent touch my biology textbook at all. not literally though. i bring it to and fro school every day, in hope that i will have the time to sit down and flip through it with a peaceful mind and heart but no pages of the textbook was flipped. Not to mention physics textbook. its still sleeping soundly in my locker and the mainstream physics textbook on my shelf, motionlessly.

as for geog. for all i noe, i am going to be in some really deep trouble having to memorise all the worksheets and textbook. and i dont even think i wld have the mood to do any revision, having the crisis in mind. i cant even eat my favourite fish burger at the normal speed during recess and i was again the last to finish my meal. wow champion yea?

after recess, the world is like spinning around me in black and white. everything seems to be so fake and how i wish that it was a dream. no no. a nightmare to be specific. my depression and sadness seemed to be pretty obvious as ppl around me kept asking me to relax. I nearly flared up and was glad i didnt. my mind turned blank and filled up with stuff a second after the other. you know the feeling? like your head gets so heavy then the next moment everything is blank.

Watching film during LA didnt help and i nearly fell asleep. I kept thinkin about all the problems faced etc. I couldnt concentrate.I couldnt even give my brain cells a rest, give them a break. I cant. I stressed and gave them pressure, hoping that they will give me a good solution which wld be beneficial to all. But i couldnt. And all i can conclude is that my brain cells are just useless.

After LA was chinese. Tried talking to PY but i couldnt smile. I didnt have the strength to smile then. I couldnt even look at her. Its like i am being compressed by a gigantic stone. My life is in its power. I cant breathe. Yes i have asthma but its just a slight one. Who knows, according to what i told jm and yy just now, maybe halfway through the filming i might just have an asthma attack and say byebye.

all the pressure are really getting on my nerves. I cant think of what to do next. i noe chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi. but i dun even have the strength to push the boat to the bridge. so wads the use. i noe i should take things one at a time. but you noe wad the problem is. i dont even noe which problem to solve first cos they are all heading towards me at the SAME time!

LA crisis, tests, reflections, assignments. They all contribute to one thing called STRESS. i have never feel this stress before. seriously. never experienced this type of feelings before. i have never been like this depressed. NEVER. Whenever i buy my favourite fish burger in school, i would eat it within like 4 minutes? and usually faster than the others. i was almost always the first to finish eating my meal but these few days?

and my lunch today only consists of 1 banana and a cup of strawberry yogurt. since when in history has Annabel KSM eaten so little for lunch? I would usually gorge myself with rice and chicken meat. Things have changed.

Things have changed so drastically that i even almost forgot to have dinner just now. I was rushing out the maths reflection. Believe me. i have almost never forget to have dinner. i am usually the first one to scoop rice every evening. and the only time that i didnt eat dinner was cos of band concert. rushed to vch then nv eat lorhs. but that was a different story. yes this is not me. and i dont act cute anymore. who has the strength to act cute when there are so much to worry about? all these worries are really getting too much for me to handle. and perhaps one day. when i couldnt manage any longer, i might just break down and cry. just one day. when i couldnt take it anymore...

if only wishing upon a star could take away all my troubles and worries
if only wishing upon a star could salvage the situation
if only wishing upon a star could bring me to where you are
if only wishing upon a star could let no more tears fall
if only wishing upon a star could let you be there for me
if only wishing upon a star could be as easy as blinking my eyes
if only wishing upon a star could let me be optimistic once again
if only wishing upon a star could give me the strength and courage i need to live on

illusions proven. it hurts. thanks for acting like you care. thanks alot. as long as you are happy.

Wednesday, August 24

advanced monthly allowance

hm today is a relatively fun day i guess. Listened to my horoscope on the radio this morning. Gemini's luck for today is not bad and actually considerably good. hehes. then also have 4-star ren yuan.

cecilia finally came to school today. she was absent for the past two days if i am not wrong. she got a sore eye. poor thing. get well soon kaes (:

went to comp lab for cme. had to do this SEM survey at the asknlearn.com/eduservice. but there wasnt enough computers in that comp lab we went too so a few of us. actually more than ten, went to comp lab 2 to 'borrow' the comp. then did the survey. gosh there were like 81 questions? majority about curriculum. some on ccas and aesthetics and a few on student leaders.

after doing the quiz, honey and i looked at the inspirations laminated cards on the board behind us. there was this card with a rainbow and titled efforts. It goes: take the extra mile then blah blah blah go the second mile blah blah blah pot of gold. aiya i cant remember. but its really meaningful.

then there is this other card which i really like too. Its a picture of an eagle then below it is a caption: you are not born to blah blah blah like the chickens but to soar into the sky like an eagle. shucks my memory's getting really dorts.. ahh

eh anyway i was waiting desperately for the bell to ring as the next period is PE. had no idea why mr siva wasnt present but we played volleyball as usual. i was on the same team as jh, wt, yh, zm etc. We were standing at the side where jm, wj and nicholas were playing basketball and i was super paranoid about getting hit by the basketball. argh. phobia bahs. somemore i not wearing contacts so if ball hit me then gonecase u noe. to be specific, my spects.

zm and yh kept training jelly to surf the volleyball then jh appeared to be super stressed. I tried twice. the first time was totally directionless. the second time was slightly better but still magnitude no direction. yes i am going to practise practise and practise. hm i gave a rather good catch once laa. but but i think right, hmm i still prefer basketball very much to volleyball lehs. i dunno why. i mean its jus my interest? was quite tempted to play basketball but i dun wan to be extra laa >.<

so played vball till bell rangs then mr ho shooed us back to classroom. Next was LA. Got back our test on violence. I passed by a few marks. I guess theres no need to be specific abt this laa. ask me if you wan to noe.

then mdm nora went through allegory of the cave, the world of the matrix and erh twelfth night? all the ignorance and enlightenment things. Then we had a discussion on writing a script based on the theme 'love'. yay my favourite theme ever. I write fanfics de kaes. dun play play. but now never write le. No time. No inspirations. then we were telling each other love stories we read. YY, YL, SM and me. told them about the leaf tree wind story, as well as the story i heard over the radio during music diary.

talking about that i want to emphasize that people who go around cheating feelings are not worth others remembering and thinking about. Translated into Chinese, dao chu liu qing de ren shi bu zhi de ren jia liu lian de.

sorry for digressing. during discussion i suddenly started singing SHE's 'yes i love you' I have fallen in love with this song ever since i heard it over the radio during music diary. yes AGAIN. i am so in love with music diary cann. So nowadays if you see my mouth moving and some squeaky sounds coming out of my mouth, you will know i am singing that song. lalala.

Our discussion resulted in a blank piece of foolscap. as well as a wasted one. thnks for jingles. erhem! She wrote a love story on food. LOL actually there were some significances but thats for us to know and for you to guess and not ask. teehee.

Went to canteen for recess. Something very interesting happened and that kinda spoilt my appetite or rather caused my rate of eating to decelerate. Dont get me wrong. Its nothing bad. It is actually something quite lame but interesting laa. I mean it kinda added some colours into my boring school day. So well jh and i were queueing at the western stall and both of us bought white spaghetti. Then jh was talking to zhao mi as i was struggling to hold the two plates of spaghetti. My skill of balancing is certainly not that great. And i am pretty sure that i looked pretty comical holding the two plates. Then finally jh went to take the spoons and forks and we settled down at an empty table with sm and clar. Then the interesting thing happened. I passed a fork and spoon to jh and was preparing to eat when... jh showed me that her spoon was twisted. YES! It is twisted at the neck, maybe with some people who are super violent or possess some kind of well magic power? But it was really very funny. When she told and showed me her unique spoon, i had just put a spoonful of spaghetti into my mouth. And when i saw the spoon, i started laughing and had to cover my mouth to prevent myself from spitting out the noodles. I think my face blushed rather badly and clar was rather shocked by my over-exaggerated reaction. LOL i couldnt swallow the noodles as i was laughing. And i cant spit it out either or it wld just be so super duper disgusting. argh. hahas then as we were eating i kept reminding jh of the spoon. She had difficulty holding it. Cos it was twisted in this awful funny manner. ahh poor jh. i offered to switch spoon with her you noe. but if i am the one using that unique spoon i may just be laughing the whole time and not eat at all. argh and no doubt. thanks to jh's special spoon and the endless laughters, i was the last to finish eating.

I dont know why but i seem to eat rather slowly nowadays. i cant seem to finish my breakfast in the morning on my dad's car. maybe his driving speed increases or my eating speed decreases. Anyway that doesnt matter and i dont care either.

after recess was physics. jm's grp did their presentation. I guess it was pretty well done. quite informative and stuff yeps. after that mrs har got abit angry. then continued with her lessons on moments. then sm started asking me how to make her mouth into this funny shape like goldfish moving their mouth in the fish tank. clar and i can move our mouth with that shape. but sm cant. so she seemed pretty amazed. hahas. this might sound kinda difficult to understand but you can ask for demonstration if you really are that interested.

after physics was maths. mr helmi asked the four of us how are we feeling today. hahas. maths lessons are getting really interesting and nicer and easier to understand nowadays. i probably belong to the world of trigonometry and only get to realise this now. ohwells. now better than never. hope that i will continue to copy this well. yipppees.

after school drew graphs for chem practical with dataloggers and tidied chem file. ms loh came in for bio and i forgot to bring one bio ws she was going through. i thought i lost it for good but thank goodness. i found it in another folder next to my computer. i just tidied my file yesterday and had divided all the different worksheets into the different subjects and placed them in individual folders and into a big folder. wow a sense of pride and achievement. teehee. neat and tidy. yayy

after biology was chinese. Had combined lesson with 3I at the avt. listened to lectures by xls and finally watched hong lou meng. i havent really started on the book. thats why i was kinda blur with all the characters etc. the film was not bad except that those ladies were rather mean to that old grandma. argh. bully her.

jh kept niaoing me during chinese. you good, jelly!! i am going to eat lotsa you. hahas. went back to class after chinese. then tidied chem prac file and handed in. i got fed up with all corrections-doing and graph-plotting etc etc. never tidy file at the last minute. ap-ness will find you.

after that we rushed downstairs for LA filming. I speed-walked downstairs to buy food. aw i was super hungry. saw nigel and amelia at the stall and nigel was saying something lame. hahas. then went to the vending machines area to look for jess, jelly and sm. urm there was something happening over there at that time. I am not going to specify nor elaborate about it. but i just want to say harmony breeds prosperity (: was rather traumatized by what happened. hahas.

went to volleyball court and started filming. my volleyball is not destined to be a volleyball. it was so pumped of air that it bounces as high as a basketball!!! yes. was so tempted to shoot it into the net lorhs. i miss basketball. jess brought hers but she left it in the classroom. aww. and can you believe it. i surf the ball in perfect magnitude and direction and OVER the net when we were filming. were fooling around then so we played two vs two, full court. hahas so cool. but its like such a miracle. maybe i have some talent at vball too bahs ;)

we filmed for around 1 hour then sm and jh hafta go. then we went to the canteen to get our bags and jh and i headed to the foyer. saw jm and dyl. apparently jus dismissed from tt. dyl crapped some nonsense hahas but he is super comical. in some ways laa. then jh's dad came and i was all alone at the foyer. then my dad finally came and on the way home i am (: shared my fried wanton with my dad and mom and they said that its yummy and wanton-licious. LOL left two for my brother. but dunno whether is it in his belly now or somewhere in the dustbin laa. whatever.

so yups well. hmm. i think i better get started on the trigo ambiguous questions and maths reflection. and not forgetting the copying of answers for the bio worksheet i forgot to bring to school today.

btw jh just told me a bad news. some of the shopping scenes for LA were gone. I think the scenes overlapped with today's vball scenes. grrrr. but fortunately some of the scenes which i dont want to take again are not deleted. LUCKILY. and whatever we are going to complete this LA project and pass it, hopefully together as a group. And one thing's for sure, i am working out a schedule tonight or tmr for the filming this weekend argh! wish me, no, us luck. and lotsa it. thanks alot. your kindness is appreciated.

ohya the carnival at pp last saturday was a blast. LOL it was not exactly what i had in mind but the space were constrained cos it was in the shopping mall, outside giant. not bad laa. i bought a heart shape balloon for 5 bucks. and it is still alive and in the arms of my pooh and erh that small chicky which was one of my vdae presents this year.

yy and yl caught guppies and gave to nicholas. Yl and i did henna on our left hands as well and i am pretty disgusted by it these few days. my henna was acompanied by this transparent plaster on the finger beside the pinky. i cut it accidentally and it has been covered with a plaster for the past 3 days. hm i am waiting for the day the henna will disappear happily from my left hand. ohwells.

dunman high people were very supportive of the minds carnival. pp was practically filled with dhs ppl all over. yay. half of 3j were there i think. yayy.

i think i better get going. bye~

Thursday, August 18

havent blog for around five days. sorry about that. 3 words: busy busy busy. hehehes.

hmm i cant really remember what happened the past few days. yups short term memory again. But i think i will just highlight some of the more interesting and meaningful stuff which happened this week. and whoa tomorrow's friday, marking the end of a week of schooldays. what can i say. time flies.

monday - went for cip at konghwa. was late for reporting at the foyer. tutoring the juniors there was pretty cool and fun. Some of them are studious while the others are just playful but still intelligent kids. They are all in primary 5 and primary 6. My brother's in p5. I remembered when i was in p5, hm my life pretty much consisted of prefect's duty, taking the mini bus to gmps situated at tanjong katong rd at that time. doing love nugget monthly and latecomers duty. ohya. my brother was in p1 at that time. little irritating boy. hahahas. hmm ohya i had short hair at that time if i am not wrong. for the last term i cut my hair. hahas. p6 was very much the same but more remedials and extra lessons. changed mini bus. hmm frequent visit to the library with my buddies... and craze over mvp valentine. when psle finally came, well stressful period duh. after that, had class chalet then went escape theme park. fun and memorable time spent. i miss the old times.

gosh. that was alot of digressing har. kaes back to secondary school.

tuesday- took bus 158 with wan ting, yi ling, jh and peiyu. went to paya lebar with jh. we were heading towards tampines to buy the poster board from popular there. then when we passed the paya lebar mrt station, jh then said the popular at singapore post got sell so we alighted at eunos and switched to the opposite train and went to paya lebar popular. paid for the boards then went for lunch at the food court. ate lemon chicken with chicken rice. then when ordering right, i prounced the words wrongly then the auntie started telling me to speak more mandarin cos i am yellow skin so must know how to speak mandarin fluently then jh kept laughing. that auntie thot i came from english-speaking family lorhs. i speak mostly mandarin to my mom and brother, english to my dad and hokkien to my grandma. yayy i love hokkien. hahahas. then makan hm wanted to buy bubble tea from rocky de then decided not to. hey lemon chicken is already alot of calories you know!! then jh took 2 boards home and i took 2 home. walked to the other side and took bus 155 home. i looked funny with the big plastic containing the boards laa. but who cares.

listened to music diary at 8pm. Took my zen and recorded the session for the first time ever since i started listening to music diary. the story that day was really touching. the girl in the story confesses her feelings to the guy, totally not bothering about her ego and pride. Its something like she and this guy have this buddy kind of relationship for a while then erh they were definitely more than friends but the guy didnt ask her to be her gf or anything. but he gave her a really touching birthday present and they talked on the phone almost everyday. then that girl is going to leave singapore soon so she decided to confess and hopefully get a reply from the guy before she leaves singapore. awww sounds like another typical leaf wind tree story har. hahas

wednesday- pe was volleyball yayy. was playing with jh until mr siva came. then he started playing vball with us. Jh and i suffered from a bad case of maluness. but i think i had a good hit once. yipppes then got dragged into the team with peixin, geokjoo and jessalyn. then ya played versus yuhan's team. whoa i got to hit the ball a few times but its like super malu lorhs. of all the hits, only one hit was good. but it has magnitude but no direction. booo. it went out. then i muttered quite a number of sorry-s during the game laa. ahhh.

did LA quiz on Twelfth Night in our LA group. think we showed some group spirit this time round and managed to complete the quiz in time. i was in charge of writing the answers. hehes. after LA was recess. went to buy ice cream. I bought raspberry icecream while yl and jh bought the strawberry one. hmmm yummy but the ice cream is abit too soft? correct term used? hehes but it still rawks laa. raspberry icecream always rawks. ate kings' ice cream with chocolate bits at home. Wanted to get a second helping but reminded myself. Ice cream is equivalent to C A L O R I E S... CALORIES!! Especially when i already ate a scoop in school. And i am glad i was able to resist that temptation of the ever so ice-cream-licious ice cream (:

watched jue dui superstar after listening to music diary. awwww junyang rawks!!! totally impressive and its pretty obvious that he will win and emerge as the superstar laa. from the dialogues of the judges telling him what he should do during the performance at singapore indoor stadium, the results are like expected? And he rawks when he sings 'if you come back' by blue. he totally rawks and melts my heart when he sang 'tong hua'!!!! ahhhh so handsome in that white coat. ahhh. my prince charming. too bad he's taken. hahas. but he is too old for me la. weilian was good too. but i think he was too nervous and maybe cos he was sick. but weilian rawks too. yups dont be discouraged kaes. i have been watching jue dui super star since the first round then after a few rounds i stopped watching. then started watching again on wednesday becos wj said the song they were assigned to sing was tonghua. for today the girls round, they will be singing yi shi de mei hao by angela chang. i think kelly will win. shi xin hui is good and impressive in her own ways. but the four of them are really champions already to get into the top 4. yuppps cheers for them!

and tada finally today. hm completed biology poster and handed in. Yippees another task off my list. I always love thursdays and fridays. and maybe wednesdays cos theres pe. why thursday. cos theres only one lesson of maths. hahas not that i detest maths that much. but sometimes maths can be so brain-tiring. anyway trigo is pretty much understood by blur me. thank god. and erm next is geog. 2 periods. geog is always interesting esp when ms pear is always there to hm bring laughters to us. hahahas. it is a joy to have jelly sitting beside me and of cos i didnt forget to miss shumin during geog lesson while she is at her history class (: after geog is erm chem practical. ah ha. i love chemistry and of cos i have to like its practical too right? heee. then recess after which is LA. yay combined lectures means i get to see py. but the note taking are tiring for my poor hand. esp after i banged my right index finger against my table for some unknown reasons. I cant find any bruise on it. uh oh internal injury = ( LOL

after LA wld be chinese and yups combined lectures. yayy. combined chinese lectures arent that bad laa. and after school theres no cca or anything so yayy i love thursday.

why i love friday. cos first period is pe!! next wld be LA. same stuff yups except that we are all sweaty and sticky. hahas. after LA is CSP. kaes maybe i am not really looking forward to that but but still i think an lao shi is nice. and i always seem to entertain myself and jh during csp at the bsp room. LOL. after csp is recess then geog. yups. then lunch and art club. yayy. love art club to bits lo. the bond between us shall never be broken wheee.

ohkae so today ya had maths for first period. i forgot to do the maths homework assigned yesterday and to bring my A maths textbook. Unfortunatley ppl around me didnt bring too. the book is so big and bulky mahs. after maths was geog. listened to miss pear for about three-quarter of the 2 periods before she left us to do our grp work. discussion was quite ok except that i was quite blur about what to do. grrr.

after geog was chem prac. did titration prac with jh and zhaomi. i was in charge of copying the ph value of the solution, jh in charge of dripping the acid into the beaker and zhaomi in charge of stirring. at one point of time i became blur and asked jh to drip 5 cubic centimetres of acid into the beaker instead of 0.5. sorry laa. was sotongish at that time cann. Despite my blurness, our results recorded was accurate yayy.

then went around copying results for the other sets. cecilia was veh niao hahas so was i. had a good time laughing at erh others' misfortune. =X anyway after chem went to classroom and did chem. got back chem test. passed. lucky. cant afford to fail chem. hehes.

then went to buy chinese textbook and photocopied registration forms for csc. i have erh 4 forms with me right now. Look for me to get the forms and i dun think i am going to photocopy anymore. yups so ya.

after recess went to AVT for LA. ya note taking. poor hand. and i did not bring twelfth night to school today. brought macbeth instead. boooo!! argh. cos i brought twelfth night to school almost every day then never use so switched to macbeth then mr ken started teaching about the text. ahhh.

after LA did the survey on nuts. then chatted outside LT/AVT before jls came for chinese lecture. niaoed jh then in the end i kanna niaoed. argh. chinese was ok. and i am finally comfortable with having my own textbook to refer to. that 'chuang wai' text was touching. that person was a meanie lorhs. so selfish and entertained such evil thoughts.

after school dismissal went to hand in poster to ms loh then took bus home with py. there were alot of people at the bus stop and guess what. py and i managed to get seats at the back of the bus. yipppes. started talking about jue dui superstar and what a rocker junyang is. must support him hor. cos he rawks. candyce has good taste, thats a fact (:

gonna sort out the songs in my zen now. tata.

Saturday, August 13

carnival at marina/La filming

ohyea i am here to blog. wanted to blog yesterday but i was too tired to do so and even to watch the lavender vcds i borrowed from yuhan. And i think i disappoint Yi Ling. Hahas sorrie laa. told her to check my blog yesterday after the carnival.

ya we went to the carnival at marina bay yesterday after school. it was cca day so early dismissal then discussed abt LA stuff with jh in the canteen. Drank green tea wid lemon or sth like that. It's nice. Like it alot. Ate two kit kats. gosh i am guilty. argh. after that went to the foyer to assemble. another niaoing session. Then chatted for a while before boarding the bus and off to the carnival.

Kept chatting and laughing with jh, yl and eileen on the bus. Then reached marina bay after a while. The bus journey was quite short. hm then almost couldnt recognize the place we flew kite at during cls gathering. LOL it was different. hopefully it will return to its original appearance after the carnival so that we can film our LA there next saturday =)

so we went looking at the trucks and vehicles. Went into one to sit. haha then sat for a while before getting out to let the pri sch kids get in. And the kids are from GMPS girls brigade. My juniors!!! Very very very young juniors. fine laa i am old.

Saw Miss Chee. One of the teacher in charge of girls' brigade. Didnt greet her cos i dun think she will recognize me. I mean i withdrew from gb during p5 and switched to maths club then i am sec 3 now. aiya she confirm wont remember me jiu shi le. But i remember her... she was a really nice teacher and i am sure she is still nice (:

after awhile we decided to go to the kids central village. Walked a long way to the bus stop and took bus 400A. My legs were aching. and i was super tired. Finally reached the kids village then saw all the theme park rides. And we happily exchanged tokens for the bumper car ride. Cecilia, sl, yl and eileen each took a bumper car. While i got into one with Jh. and of cos i was the driver bwahahas. jh was in a rather dangerous situation. I have no license. muwahahs.

then we started bumping the cars lorhs. i had no idea how to put on the seat belt at first. Eh i veh long nv play this le. hehe then i didnt noe how to drive the car too. But well it was fun. there were students from the other schools. but its a sad thing that the ride was quite short. we enjoyed ourselves nonetheless. next we went on the 'music dance' thingy. It looked fun and thrilling. me and jh got into one of the seats or wadever you call it. then the ride started. i was so worried that my contact lens would fly out and into some place where it lives happily ever after with the muddy rainwater. LOL so i was covering my eyes with my right hand and gripping onto the handle thingy with my left hand. I was already screaming by then. the ride got faster and faster and faster and of cos my screaming got louder and louder and louder! then tears started rolling down my cheeks LOL ya la. due to laughing and screamin at the same time. but the ride was really getting faster and faster then our skirts all started flying UP. and there were ppl taking photos with their hp camera according to cecilia. wah wads so nice to see... then i screamed to jh, 'zou guang le!' LOL then ya i was screaming all the while. and the last part jh banged her head onto the thing we were sitting in and my arm hit the thingy too. theres a greyish-green bruise on it now.

jh said i was screaming CONTINUOUSLY throughout the ride. wow my screaming skills not bad eh. sl and cecilia saw tears rolling down my cheeks and niaoed me. LOL it was really very funny. I felt giddy after the ride. after effects. ah.

oh no. i miss out the most exciting part of this carnival. when we reached the kids village, someone from kids central came to talk to us but i didnt hear wad she said. was playing with the balloons i got. in fact all of us were holding balloons. then we followed her into the shelter area. oh its the hamtaro show. there were only a few kids with their parents. then we settle down and hamtaro and his/her friends started coming out. super super super ULTRA cute! then they danced the hamtaro dance. hamtaro was dancing you know!!! then they looking for ppl to go up and learn the dance. and you know what. THAT GUY PICKED YI LING. hahahas. then we started clapping and screaming.

then she kept playing with hammie on the stage. took a photo of her with my hp. ultimate blurness. argh should have brought my camera. then the dance started. yl looked super cute up there. hahas. potential dancer. then hamtaro and friends dun wan to go back they wan to dance somemore. there was this percussion guy who went up to dance. BRAVO. then that same guy AGAIN came down the stage and headed towards us, students of dhs, and asked yl to nominate one of her friends to go up and dance. uh no. not nominate. is SABO. then i was looking away and praying really hard that yl DONT sabo me. and FOR GOODNESS SAKE. SHE DID!!!! and i went up the stage reluctantly. boooooo. then danced lorhs. i bet i look funny. that percussion guy standing some distance beside me laa. but didnt see him dancing. was looking at the kids central lady on my right and following her dance steps. i think i looked super funny and idiotic on the stage. argh. cecilia took a photo of me. booo. ohkae. no more comments on this. such a tui lian incident. ALL THANKS TO YI LING >.< LOL

yups that was before the carnival rides. then the rides we went home. we took the mrt heading towards the wrong side. cos we followed cecilia when she was heading towards bishan and we towards pasir ris. hahahas. but it was a fun day. yups really. not inclusive of that embarrassing incident.

as for today we did filming. it was ohkae. at least we managed to film sth so it was a success but there were some pretty ERHEM things today which i dun wan to mention here. yups but the filming is really going on well. took neoprints. and ate mac. uh oh another sin. and a second blueblack appeared on my right wrist after playing volleyball today. but didnt film cos jess wasnt there yet. then we kept playing bball with the vball. i still think i love bball more than vball. call me tomboyish. whatever >.<

then went to bugis. and after that called my dad to fetch me home. i was tired and super warm. perspiring like crazy. cos i was wearing a jacket. ahhh.

i have 5 blueblacks on my leg and arm. one on my foot cos i knocked into the chair at mac while coming out. ouch. two on my wrist. one nearly to my palm. the veins appear to be quite bluish too. OH NO. but its ohkae. i am still playing vball for pe next week. i dun care. who cares (:

fourth blueblack on my upper arm. the one i got from the 'music dance' ride. its greyish-green. unless i am colour blind. the fifth blueblack's on my knee. dunno where i get from de. nowadays more prone to hurting myself and falling sick i guess. last night had a terrible flu. now feel abit feverish. oh no. sheesh. but who cares. hahas certainly not me.

btw dropped my contact lens this morning. couldnt find it. asked mom to help to find it then she nagged as she looked for it. in the end realised it was between the gaps on my chair. smarty me. bwahahas

ohkae thats abt it. btw theres cip for the selling of donation tickets for the minds tmr. pls go and help if you are free. registration time is between 9 to 11. its all for a good deed and it all comes from the heart (: there are altogether 5 stations. pls ask me for more details.

gonna call jh now. bye. ppl, tag kaes.

watched love and again just now. veh nice show. veh nice and significant and meaningful ending. love the show. watched lavender disc one. whoa that young leo is so cute and mature in thinking. very cool lehs. so caring for yixun. awwww.

Thursday, August 11

wore-contact-lens day (:

yippees. Pin Guan's 'Teng Ni De Zhe Ren' is playing on fm 933 radio station now. Love the song to bits. Jus like 'Chi Xin Jue Dui'. Perhaps I would analyze the lyrics just like what i did one day if I could find the time.today is a fun fun day. wheee yipppes. my eyes appeared to be rather small now. Yea I wore contacts to school today. And a few people thought that I broke my spects. eh do i look like i am that violent? Heee Actually i am laa but thats not the reason. Suddenly felt like wearing then jiu wear shuang lorhs LOL

so yea i woke up this morning and wore the contact lens. Still quite unsure if i should wear it to school for the first time in my life. Yes. i bought the contacts like 2 years ago. I do wear it occasionally but not so often. I wore it during CNY this year. And jh they all first seen me in contacts during the meeting for geog skit. Yups. And today tada is the first time i wore it to school. Was quite self conscious.

Dad fetched me to school as usual. When he was about to drive into the maingate, fm 933 radio station started reporting about the horoscopes. Kaes I know I am quite obsessed with fm 933 radio station. I just am kaes. Who cares. heee

Then the dj was talking about aries and taurus then FINALLY gemini. so i was like asking my dad to drive slower and try to finish listening to my luck for today as a geminian before getting out of the car. heee. Hmm my overall luck for today is 3-star. Not bad. Considered neutral. My love luck for today is 5-star. Same as Aries if i am not wrong. Yups but its not accurate. My lucky colour for today is yaaaa-low (yellow) and i forgot what is my lucky number.

After getting out of the car, I headed for the staircase at block b. the one beside 3I then when i finally reached my classroom, i saw shumin at the door so called her to come out to boost my confidence. hahas early morning so confidence level abit errrr you know. Then after awhile finally got used to MY classroom.

hmm first period was maths. got back maths test. I improved in maths though my marks is still not ideal. but its really good compared to my previous ones. yayy

after maths was geog. ms pear gave out notes and articles for us to read then she went for her course. So the two periods were very much used for chit-chatting and to be more specific gossiping and also discussion for LA.

next up is chemistry lesson. No practical. I am quite thankful. Cos wasnt really in the mood for practical. Kinda prepared myself for chemistry test. But mrs phua taught us how to find the molecular mass and molar volume etc. Did not return test papers. But she said the test was pretty badly done. UH OH.

Hmm recess was discussion for LA. No filming. Showed Peiyu the LA script. Then after that jason came into the clsrm and told us to collect the national day diary thingy. Went to the art room where art club always has our meeting. but there was nothing and no one there. Just a showcase of how messy the room is to everyone? oops =X

then smartypants jh suggested going to art room 2 and Miss Lai and Miss Devi were there. Carried the heavy stuff up to the classroom. Yup Girl Powerr (:

Watched this Reduced Shakespear Play or sth. Very humorous and abit lame. But its nice. My eyes were really tired. Got back chinese test papers during chinese. Erh i improved in my results too. Was quite surprised by my marks. I mean its like way beyond my expectation. =)

After dismissal, took bus home with peiyu. Walked out of the school and realised that it was drizzling slightly. Then saw bus 158 then we ran towards the bus. As I was about to reach the bus stop, i slowed down and looked at my shoes, thought my shoelace came off. Then i just banged my right arm into this metal thing which holds the poster for advertisement. YES OUCH. I was shocked. Peiyu was too. And i think there's a niceee blue-black bulge on my right arm now. BOOOO pain leh. Dun laugh kaes >.< i think the bump is gonna 'enlarge' if i play volleyball tmr. wow i am so excited hahas

on the bus, we decided to go and watch movie yayyy!! alighted at aljunied mrt then took the mrt to hmm bugis. bought tickets for charlie and the chocolate factory at 3pm then went for lunch at mac. We were served at mac you know. Its not self service. We were SERVED like in a restaurant. wow. hahas this nice auntie who talked to us about dunman high. I took the mac-chicken student meal while peiyu took the fillet-oh-fish. then ya i REMEMBERED to change the coke to ice lemon tea. i dun wan my water bottle to smell of coke or any soft drinks anymore. Never~ And i wldnt want to die of thirst.

Then hurried to the cinema. I couldnt find our seats. The lighting wasnt good cos the show was almost starting. phew. Almost... So we finally found our seats by counting the number of rows from the front. then settled down and the show started. yipppeee lucky didnt miss the beginning of the show.

the show ended at about erm 451pm. its a very nice movie, believe me. Charlie is very cute. Peiyu said Willy Wonka looked like Michael Jackson. LOL he looked kinda evil in the show. The devilish look. muhahas. the candies looked so candilicious!! yum yum but i wasnt tempted cos i just had my lunch remember? One must not give in to temptation at all time. hehe.

ohya Charlie's mother in the show is that lady who acted at Olivia in Twelfth Night but she looked much younger in TN. forgot to confirm with peiyu.anyway after movies we went to take neoprints. The neoprints turned out to be VERY NICE this time. So nice that we decided to take again after shopping for presents. I bought a bday present for Yuhan and a belated one for Ying Qing. Spent quite alot and am quite broke now. This time i am seriously broke. btw yuhan lent me the Lavender VCDs today. Hopefully i can watch during the weekend. yayyy.

ohya there is a coincidence. This morning i got to know through the radio that today is Qi Xi Qing Ren Jie. As in something like the Lunar Valentine Day. And the Lavender's VCD casing has this paragraph of synopsis. and its about Qi Xi Qing Ren Jie!! coincidence right? (: but its not significant :)

oops i digress. so ya shopped for presents then went back to take neoprints. Couldnt decide on which machines to use so we decided to take at the machine we used previously since it produced nice neoprints. We tried different effects this time and we were VERY satisfied with the neoprints too. The neoprints are really really very nice although i was wearing contacts. hahas. my eyes were quite red after coming out from the cinema. yups but lucky it wasnt reflected in the neoprints. bwahahas.

then took the mrt home. We almost couldnt get on the train and LUCKY and FORTUNATELY. history didnt repeat itself. PHEW.came home then ate dinner and watched tv. Then listened to music diary just now. The story caused me to reminisce some things and it didnt help when Fish Leong's 'Wo Xi Huan' was played over the radio. Tried to wake myself up to reality and i am assured that i am quite awoke now.

Chatted alot with Peiyu today as usual. then i kept talking about da dao li. I guess i have matured a little, in my thinking and judgement. here are some of the quotes i mentioned during our conversation just now. Do think about it.

My personal motto: In order to excel and do well in something, I have to enjoy and like what i am doing.

It's not the end results but the learning journey that matters most of all.

If you have the brains and intelligence and get good grades and all, whats the use if your personality is like zero?

Don't care about what others say. Believe in yourself and follow your heart.

People like to make comments. Negative or positive. Our lives just revolve around them. Be thankful for the positive comments but do not be proud. As for the negative comments, understand why people tell you that. And change for the better. then forget those comments but dont change for the worse.

And as for those comments which you think that its not constructive at all and people just say that cos they mouth itchy or becos they feel like niaoing you. Ignore them. Laugh and forget. Those are commonly classsified as the boliao comments. Like someone mentioned that i looked 'guai l*n' with contacts today. I just daoed that comment. Whatever. As long as i am happy. As long as i like it. I dont care.

last but not the least friends will always be there to accompany you through this life journey. You'll never walk alone.

I shall scan in the neoprints i took with peiyu another time. yups but they are really really nice (: think about whats written above. they might happen to make some sense but if theres is any violent objection, i would like to make a gentle reminder that this is my blog. I write what i like and think. So pls do not take any offence. Thank you.

This is how i am like. I have a certain view of life and its my view. This is my blog and I write whatever i deem fit. Thats the way i am. So ya, love me or hate me. But pls. no hate to love or love to hate. Cos thats TOO complicated for a complex person like me (: Accept me if not too bad lorhs >.< tata for now.

things can never be the same again.

Wednesday, August 10

astrology- how true

daily overview for Aug 10

Quickie:Sometimes making plans with friends is the fun part. Keep up the chitchat.

Overview:Better make sure your camera is in good working order, because you're going to want a record of the amazing and lovely things that are going to happen to you right now. Got batteries?

> gosh how true can this get. i am charging my camera for tomorrow's LA filming LOL

Daily extended forecast for Aug 10
You excel at beginnings, but when it comes to seeing things through 'til the end, you may need a little help. Team up with a likeminded buddy or coworker -- one who shares a similar outlook but a different skill set would be perfect -- and see if the two of you can't combine forces to make things come out just right. What's most important is that at the end of this day's hard work, you make sure that you both get the credit

> this is true too. my sistas all share similar outlook with me but possess different skills. juehui is smart and artistic. shumin is music talented. yi ling is calm and organized and music talented. yunyin sings. and as for me. I crap (:

Daily teen forecast for Aug 10
That negative side of you wants to stop you in your tracks today, but let yourself have fun instead. Maybe it's time to find a poem and sing it at the top of your lungs, or to rewrite the sad ending to a story. Lights, camera, action!

>this is so VERY true indeed! lights camera action... isnt that the taking care of our LA filming whoa~ lala

Daily overview for August 11
Quickie:Being 'nice' is what other people want you to do. So what do you want to do?

Overview:Think about how much great stuff your body does for you every single day. Now the question is, what are you doing to take care of it? Are you eating right? Exercising? Getting enough sleep?

> kaes. i shall be ultra nice to the people around me tomorrow. yea i am eating right. definitely. okae. i shall exercise and get enough sleep tomorrow (:

Daily extended forecast for Aug 11
Your mental acuity usually extends to a wide range of topics, but right now the stars are giving you the power to go for depth rather than breadth. You've got the ability to perceive layers of meaning and analyze the subtleties in a way that wasn't available to you before. Is there a work stalemate you need to move? A relationship you want to unblock? Make sure you use this newfound skill in areas that need it most.

> hmm newfound skills. relationship i want to unblock? got meh. lets see tmr

Daily teen forecast for Aug 11
Slow down and learn something new today. Whether it's economics or skateboarding, you can master something unusual if you keep someone else's needs in mind. Choose something worthwhile to focus on and go for it.

> yea i will try.

Weekly forecast for Aug 8
This isn't like you! You're usually such a smooth-tongued communicator, but on Monday you'll have to work extra hard to make yourself clear (especially with family members and others close to you). On Tuesday and Wednesday, you'll get you're your silver tongue back -- and others will line up just to get in on all the fun you're having. Don't be afraid to start something even if you have no intention of following through. Somebody else will pick up the ball. Starting on Thursday and on into the weekend, use your intelligence and insight to unearth hidden information. On Saturday and Sunday, you can guarantee a good time with some good old-fashioned teamwork.

> hmm sounds interesting. unearth hidden information? like what? (:

all in all this is the power of ASTROLOGY (",)

community service

ohdear. my handphone battery low and its making that weird sound that it always makes when the battery is low. booo. and you noe what. that sound is irritating and unpleasant to the ears. LOL

yayy theres only one period of maths tomorrow. I dunno how to draw the linear law graphs lehs. uh oh. Maths.

hmmm seems like our LA film is turning out quite well. uh ya we havent start filming and i think i am gonna ruin the film by acting in it. lets wait and see. jh started on the storyboard. I completed the script. The story plot is half done and i shall try to complete it asap. Yups. Everything's going on pretty well. And i am praying real hard that it will remain like this till the film is finished. whee.

just saw the csc registration form in my folder. whoa i havent photocopy it for my peers and i WILL remember to do so tomorrow. Community service just rawks. Its all about making a difference and bringing happiness and joy to people around you as well as the less fortunate. and you will realise that its all worth it (:

anyone else interested in joining community service club in dunman high? yups. passion commitment service.

should i or should i not? - currently in a dilemma. i wont say anything abt my dilemma. you will find out tomorrow bahs. hahas. yups i am keeping mum.

hmmm tomorrow's gonna be another exciting day. i always love thursday and friday and weekend~ tada. after maths tmr there will be geog. geog is always interesting with yl and jh and of cos the lead- miss pear (: hopefully she wont ask mii to answer any question tmr =X

after geog is chemistry practical. yayy love practical. but i dun like titration!! why? cos the burette so long then i have to tip toe to see the reading. then you can see jh laughing at me. i know i should be like more zi zhi zhi ming or sth laa then put the retort stand with the burrette on the chair but but. what if i broke the burrette. cluminess is my personal trait? hahas for you info, i nearly broke a beaker during physics prac. i think it was during the experiment when we have to find the melting and boiling point of some substances. I scared like the few ppl around me lorhs, jh in particular. hahas. kaes. another reason why i dun enjoy titrating. becos i am the impatient type and i always try to release more acid into the conical flask. well to save time and to prevent myself from being frustrated. heeeeeee. thats why the liquid in my conical flask is always pinkkish red.

but maybe tmr dun have chem prac. cos mrs phua might be giving back our chem test. ahhhh HELP. i hope i didnt fail. i cant afford to fail chemistry cos i love chem to bits. and i love mrs phua (: the humourous yet stern teacher.

anyway after chem wld be recess and of cos the long-waited filming session for my LA grp. just realised that my volleyball is sorta deflated. argh. nvm there will be a way.

after chem is LA. wheeee. can see my darling peiyu (; hopefully i rmb to bring the postcard to AVT. After LA wld be Chinese and hopefully more MV watching. I want to watch yl's grp mv. hahas. yl is lead i think. whee.

gonna call peiyu now to ask for her help in our LA film. cya

yayy new blog template

yayy tada. my new blog template. love it to bits. this is like my favourite of all the blogskins i have used before. its so colourful and cute. pooh!! wheee. well there are actually some reasons behind my sudden change of blog template. i have never liked the editing of blog template. its jus so tedious. and evidence is that i spent the past few hours editing this latest template, when i could have listened to the LA lecture videos.

oops yl jus called and reminded me abt the biology poster we have to do. I clean forgot abt it. Gosh. my grp's doing on magnesium. Gonna look for information later.

Alright back to the reasons.

Reason One:
I realised that I don't have to wait at the bus stop anymore. Or at least I wont be waiting alone cos i have my friends. They will always be there for me and they wont let me wait alone. They are always there. Cos they care.

Reason Two:
I dun wan my life to be black and white anymore. It should be filled with colours. colours of my life. Colours of the rainbow. Colours of friendships. Why should I live in the past and paint everything i see black and white only. its jus so nonsensical.

Reason Three:
Jus happened to stumble across this pooh and friends template. Thought that it was cute and significant. See arh. The pooh in the picture is Jh. the tallest of all. I am the piglet, the shorter one beside her. And she is always teasing me and boasting abt her height. LOL.

Shumin is also the piglet. We are twins mah so we appear as one. Bwahahas Two of A Kind. Yeps thats us.

As for the tigger and eeyore, of cos they are yl and yy. Maybe tigger is yl bahs. then yy is eeyore. whee thats us. Sisters foreva (:

Hm didnt meet up with jh today. Felt slack and we wldnt be able to do much constructive stuff even if we meet so decided to meet online.

i love my blog template to bits.

i love you. you love me. we are happy family...

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everyone is loved. no one ever walks alone (:

Tuesday, August 9

national day

the computer has been on since morning and for more than half a day. whoa. i seriously wld appreciate if my parents get me a laptop so that my room will have more space. ok thats just another excuse out of annabel's logic.

was discussing abt LA with jh. We should be filming tmr. at least thats the results of my flipping of coins. the lead is still is mystery. we shall wait and see. and jh is a smartypants. really. asked her the maths question from my younger brother' worksheet. and bingo. she knew the answers. such a pro kia. thats what sistas are for. helping each other thru times of need. jus like me in a current state of maths crisis. boohoo. my maths deteriorating.

nah. maybe cos my brain too complex and full developed liaos. so the maths question are too easy for me. hahas. another excuse laa. boo

slack for most of today. except for the few moments of brainstorming and cracking my brain for the A* maths questions. argh. didnt even listen to LA lectures today. but i listened to music diary on fm 933. the story was abt this guy's never-dying love for his mei. and he learnt to play her fav song on the piano, jus for her. wow.

and my dad was kinda fed up with me. i ate a few mouthfuls of wanton noodles and rushed into the room to listen to the radio station online. how did i noe it was 8pm then. then i listen till 830pm then went out to the living room and finished eating my dinner. hm the power of music diary (:

well i guess i am very much enlightened by myself today. read twin's blog. hahas she is so enthu abt national day. i really dunno how i enlightened myself. but well i jus did. all the logics and stuff. i finally forced myself to wake up to reality and accept it, and let go. even my horoscope for this week is urging me to let go and move on.

spent most of my time today doing quiz on www.gurl.com

check out this website. as you can see, its for girls only. but if any of the guys out there are thick skinned enough, do check it out. its a nice website with quiz and stuff. and theres gurl game. really girlish and maybe even childish ones. but wad the heck. jus to spend the time or at least keep my mind off some things which i shouldnt think of (:

gaming really helped. after writing the ever-so-miserable entry yesterday i went gaming and wow. the power of gaming. i slept soundly last night. bwahahas

and the power of words... i found a pack of bookmarks i bought a few years ago at a buddhist exhibition. its for charity so i bought it. yeps and the bookmarks have really interesting, logical and meaningful phrases like 'with love in heart, you'll be loved by all'

yups i agree with twin. the power of words indeed. and these few days of trauma and the roller coaster rides have also made me realised the power of sisterhood. sisters/bff forever. was listening to the song dedication on the radio station this afternoon then suddenly got the urge to dedicate songs to my dearest haojiemeis out there.

here's to juehui, shumin, yiling, yunyin and peiyu
thanks for always being there for me. all your company and help are greatly appreciated. i will never forget the laughters and joy we shared. as well as the time we spent gossiping and the strong bonds we share. the passion and commitment for community service. you guys jus rawk! love you forever (:

i dun need love in my life. i am contented enough to have my friends and family (:

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the colour of my love

gURL.comI took the "Love Style" quiz on gURL.com
I am...
Pragma/Green

Everyone has their pragmatic moments, but, the way John Alan Lee sees it, you, Pragmatic Patty, might just make the rest of us look like fools for love. Green types don't lose their head over another person. Instead, they are attracted to what's good for them, (You lucky devil!). Read more...

What's your love style?

happy bday singapore

Happy Birthday Singapore!

hmm Singapore is a Leo... Shi zi zuo. No wonder its Singa. hehe. i am definitely in a better mood. Spent majority for this morning tidying my study desk. So much neater now. And i was feeling naughty just now so i put a temporary tattoo i found onto my right hand. bwahahas. i think it looks nice (:

There will be LA filming tomorrow. Hope everything goes well if not I am really gonna scream kaes. Jus download a screensaver program and now my screensaver are photos taken with my friends in london, germany and... SINGAPORE. hehe

variety is the spice of life. life is always sweet...

I <3 my zen to bits.

Monday, August 8

roller coaster feelings

just came back from tuition. Today is a bad day. Wasn't really in a good and right mood for National Day Celebration. Tuition was ok for today. Wasnt really paying much attention to what Mr Lee was saying. Thoughts just kept drifting off to somewhere familiar yet so not familiar.

Was quite glad when tuition was finally over. Went to cold storage. Saw this cadbury centre filled cookies. Wanted to buy. But no appetite to eat it. Thats like so not me lorhs.

My feelings have been taking the roller coaster ride nowadays. Sometimes the worst feeling is not when you cry non-stop. But rather its when you don't know if you should smile or cry. The feeling is horrible and thats exactly how i feel now. I get terribly fed up with life nowadays. I cant stand noises, as in i get irritable easily.

All i could do now was to force out a little smile when i think theres a need too. I was so out of this world and slipped and fell today in the toilet when i was alone at home. Lucky my left foot hit the pipe and brought me to a halt. If not i would have gone crashing into the cement-based sink and well the consequences might be undesirable.

But if i did, maybe i wouldnt have to live in misery now. I would be free from all troubles and worries of a mortal and of cos i will miss out on the fun and happiness. I really shouldnt entertain any thoughts about death. Life is precious. My cousin just passed away. Sigh.

I cant explain my feelings. spent the afternoon writing a brand new and FINAL script for LA film. It centralises on friendship with a little of love. The script is 5 pages long ohwells. the main actress had to cry and if i ever become the main actress it wld be best to film the crying scene the first thing cos i am really in the mood to cry.

The problem is I am numb. I cant cry. I just feel numb. Kinda like unfeeling. I am not happy neither sad. I just kept clinging and looking back on the memories.

This is plain misery. I cant continue living like this. I really cant. Tomorrow's Singapore's birthday. I will try to at least cheer up a little tomorrow so that i could wish Singapore a happy birthday happily. I guess I will try.

Didnt even bother to take out my zen on the bus to listen to music diary on fm 933 radio station. I mean i already had so many things inside of me and it wouldnt help if i listen to other's misery and worse still their happiness and realise how miserable and pathetic i am right?

Stood on the bus throughout the journey home. Didnt even want to sit down when there were empty seats around. I must have looked like an alien from outer space. Whatever.

There were these two guys who were newcomers to the tuition. They sat behind me and one of them kept rocking the chair where my stuff were on. Was kinda fed up but i dun have the energy to scold them. I am getting weak. Midway thru the tuition i started sneezing. It was freezing cold and i didnt bring my sweater with me today. But alas i endured through it.

There was national day celebration in school today. we did mask-making. the mask mii and twin made was well... glitterish? Then erm twin coloured the eyes of the mask with yellow glitters and we pinned onto the noticeboard. A few minutes later the yellow glitters were dripping down the 'face' and twin kept exclaiming that it's crying and that cracked mdm nora up. At least that made me laugh too.

Then there was the concert in the hall. not much comments. when the dancing part came. i was super fed up. there was obviously no space for everyone to spread out. and i kept bumping into ppl and got really irritated. suddenly got the urge to just break down and cry but lucky i didnt. lunch was just a few packets of biscuits. and i am guilty of munching on potato chips just now while working on the script.

this entry made me seem so problematic. I really hope there will be a rainbow after the storm and everything will return to be the same again. But well i dun think its possible. I just got to see the darker side and i am afraid to see the darkest side. doesnt matter if you dont understand what i am talking about.

my feelings are like the roller coaster ride. up and down, up and down. it usually takes one's courage to ride on a roller coaster but i think i need the courage to get my feelings of the roller coaster. And it would take even more courage to overcome the reluctance i have towards leaving my memories behind me and walking on. I just cant do it, or rather i cant bear to do it...

maybe keeping my schedule busy will prevent myself from thinking too much. hm sports, tuitions, shopping, movies and of cos COMMUNITY SERVICE~

Serve the community. Make a difference

Sunday, August 7

yahoo! astrology

was just checking out yahoo! astrology and this is what it says abt gemin for today and tomorrow.

Daily overview for August 7,2005 (Gemini)
Quickie:You can't do it all in one day. Start small with your goals, and be persistent.

Overview:It's time to break the ties that bind, especially if all said ties are doing is keeping you tethered to the past. Take the first step in figuring out how to leave your memories where they belong -- behind you.

This is creepily true kaes. Esp the overview. I definitely need to leave my memories where they belong and thats behind me.

Daily extended forecast for August 7, 2005 (Gemini)
One of the most satisfying things in life is writing up a to-do list and checking off the items one by one until -- at last! -- you reach the end. You've got enough mental energy to fuel a freighter, so direct some of it (if not all of it) to tackling the items that have been hanging around and gathering dust for far too long. Once you're finished with that, you can breathe a hearty sigh of completion and take a well-deserved rest.

Daily Teen forecast for August 7,2005 (Gemini)
Catch up on old emails you've been collecting in your inbox. A quick note will suffice for friends you see regularly, but write a long letter to a close friend who's been on vacation. You'll get a nice present when they return.

Daily overview for August 8,2005 (Gemini)
Quickie:Choose wisely, but choose something. Taking no action is the worst choice of all.

Overview:Communication may start out a little rocky, but keep your cool and by midafternoon, you'll have your old gift of gab back -- and then some. Hold off on big negotiations until then.

Daily extended forecast for August 8,2005 (Gemini)
All talk and no action can make some people mighty irritated if you don't figure out how to back up your flights of fancy with some concrete work. You excel at spinning tales and coming up with one great idea after another, but it's about time to put your money where your mouth is. After all, you're a lot more versatile and multitalented than you think, so why not demonstrate those skills by building something solid?

Daily teen forecast for 8 august 2005 (Gemini)
Be careful talking to your family today. Sometimes they just don't get you, and to avoid misunderstandings, you'll need to clarify what you really think. Luckily, if you make the effort to communicate, things will really improve.

kudos to shumin!

sheesh. i failed to kill a mosquitoe a few minutes ago and i am pretty sure its gonna feast on me tonight.

anyway i am really supposed to be listening to the LA lectures but i really have to dedicate a blog entry solely to my darling twin- tada jingles~

before reading on, maybe you wld like to check out her blog.

http://iamshumin.blogspot.com

BWAHAHAS.

Didnt know she has such a talent in insulting and getting back at others and letting others know that she is not fun to be provoked. GIRL POWERRR~

She knew how to scold. She knew how to insult. She knew how to apply her skills learnt in history lessons. And she is such a pro in english. wonderful. I have such a fantastic twin.

Three cheers to Jingles!!! urm do i hear applause? LOL

anyway i really must thank her. for bringing me back to reality. has kinda been drifting off to lala-land sometimes. she is a wonderful twin. made me see the side of people in true light. And i am really grateful to all my haojiemeis for all the talks and advice and everything. Thanks to Juehui, YunYin, YiLing. Thank you very much. Sistas forever.

I have to thank Pei Yu too. Hahas she definitely adds lotsa colours to my life. has been taking bus home with her these few weeks. and i really enjoyed those chats and everything. though the chats were light hearted and stuff but still i am grateful. i am learning to be grateful to everyone around me and appreciate them and acknowledging their presence cos i dun wan to regret. i dun wan to take them for granted.

Yups. guess i am off to the LA lectures. Tata ppl.

and whoa national day is round the corner (: wheeee cheers!

Serve the community. Make a difference (:

today's post will be a pretty long one since so much had happened today. Today had class cip. Woke up at 725 then my dad fetched me to bedok. reached there at 750am. Was reading my national geographic magazine for a while before i saw jh. the others were late. then yl came and we headed for mac. jingles' already there. we were having breakfast together. when the three of us walking into mac then i was like so excited upon seeing jingles then i speed-walked a little and this guy was sticking out his foot and i ALMOST tripped but lucky my balancing skills saved my life. And it was so embarrassing that i didnt dare to look back to see who's the culprit and started commenting on how striking jingles' camp tee was. Jingles, jh and I wore our orange sec2 level camp tee while yl wore the black sec3 level camp tee. so we makan as we chatted. and the tea tasted funny. i added two packet of coffeemate into it. but still its drinkable so yups. then after we finished eating, jingles started mixing all the different sauces together turning it into something really disgusting and you wouldnt be interested to see it. And it reminds me and jh of sth. hehe

then yy was very late. hahas. da pai. and she turned up in her uniform which made yl a little angry. bwahahas the ever so loyal student of dunman high school (: then there were 2 guys sitting 2 tables behind us and we suspected that they were the Socrates. Then jingles wanted to call them to confirm so the five of us rushed out of mac and jingles took out her hp to call. Then mii and jh went in to investigate, to see if any of them picked up the phone then in the end, jingles didnt call. It was really exciting and er yea childish. but you noe self-entertainment. It was early in the morning. hehes. after much pondering and toleration i decided to just go and 'confront' them. wow brave arh. hahas.

so i went up to them. without thinking about what to say and said 'hello are you the minds thing?' Yes theres mistakes with my sentence but anyway. the guy in blue just said 'ya yes' straight away and told us to wait for a while. then we went to the other table and sat down with everyone laughing at my spastic greeting. sorrie laa. i laughed till i cried. ULTIMATE MALU-NESS.

then jh said 'eh you said minds thing like they from minds school like that' then i was like 'oops' and then that guy in blue called me and said' eh i am not from minds' OOPS sorry~ hehes

then we went over and he told us to sit down. i was the only one who sat down and the rest all standing so it was pretty awkward laa. like odd one out. and i was saboed to sit down cos i was the representative WOW. There was the signing in of our service and collection of kit kats and the donation ticket booklets. then we headed to the ntuc area and started our community service. We started selling at 9am. And i felt pretty accomplished having finished up both my booklet one and the half hour later. everyone was working very hard and doing very best for MINDS. We definitely deserve a pat on our shoulder. So after the first round of selling the tickets i gave a pat on everyone's shoulder hahas abit childish but still its a good-intention gesture ok!

we went back to mac and got more donation ticket booklets. Our energy level is really running high and of cos our young hearts getting more enthu and determined to help the less fortunate. We continued selling. The residents at Bedok are really kind and generous. A BIG THANK YOU HERE TO ALL OF YOU. YOU DEFINITELY MAKE OUR DAY AND YOUR DONATION WILL HELP MINDS A LOT IN THEIR RELOCATION OF THEIR SCHOOLS (:

After the second round of selling, we treated ourselves to jollibean's pearly soya bean milk YUMMY =) Community service is definitely a pleasure and a meaningful way to spend your weekend. It's all about making a difference. We met some difficulties while asking around for donation. The NKF saga has definitely lowered the confidence level towards charity organization of many Singaporeans. But as long as we do not give up, we will be able to touch their hearts with our sincerity. And of cos we are there for each other, cheering and supporting each other all the way (: We are not doing it for the hours. We are doing it and walking this extra mile because we are sincere in helping the less fortunate. The hours dont even matter.

Yesterday i was complaining about a boring day and everything but today. A meaningful day. It's just a little gesture and the spending of a part of our weekend to collect funds and aid MINDS with the relocation of their schools. Kaes back to the events that happened today.

Hm ya we went back to mac to sign out. Told Wenxiang- the guy in blue and the i/c of the station, that we will be helping out next week and at the carnival too. He seemed really pleased. Then we went to the ladies after submiting the money to them. The others told me that i havent sign out and when i went to them to get the paper to sign out. I saw my signature there already and i was abit puzzled. did i sign at the 'sign out' column? Then WX and Alex (issit?) were laughing. Turned out that WX forged my signature and the funny part was that he signed it nicer than i did wow. LOL pro laa.

then after that jh, yy and i went to hangten. wanted to get red t-shirts for tomorrow. Saw this really nice shirt. and it was 13 bucks. Decided not to buy it as it was pretty ex. Had been kinda broke ever since i bought zen. Sigh. Then headed for Watson. Hmm Took a long time to get what i wanted. Bought c&c face wash and er oxy 5 pimple cream.

then jh went off halfway while i was choosing my stuff and yy and i decided to go to princess cinema and catch a movie. didnt know where the cinema is. wanted to go yy's hse initially then decided to go somewhere to shop. So we just boarded the mrt heading to boon lay and passed each station aimlessly. Then decided to alight at City Hall. hmmm shopped around then decided to catch a movie cos our legs were tired. Imagine walking around the whole of bedok bus interchange for so many hours... Our poor legs. so went eng wah cinema. it was 250pm then. and the 'charlie and the chocolate factory' movie started 5 minutes ago. Asked the GV person about the ticket price. OMG super ex. then decided not to watch. went in search of a place to sit down and rest our poor legs. went to kfc and bought the rancho pockett meal. then we ate at kfc for a few hours. eating and chatting about alot of stuff. Then i forgot to change the drink for my meal and it was pepsi. I havent been drinking carbonated drinks ever since i came back from germany. Yups a changed lifestyle/diet i supposed. Pepsi, sprite, sasi are all no-no for me. Dont ask me why. Maybe i drank too much of these last time and grew sick of it and the gaseous feeling inside of me makes me feel disgusted. Whatever. I just dont like them now. So i decided to finish drinking the water in my water bottle and poured the pepsi inside the bottle and da bao home for my brother. being such a nice sister has a price to pay BECAUSE my water bottle now smells of pepsi. yucks!

hmm then was about to walk to the bridge linking to citylink when we saw clarissa and francesca. they were selling the donation tickets. We helped them to sell but everyone's shopping and it's really tough to get donation in a place with such quick 'human-flow'. But i managed to help them sell a few tickets. There was this teenaged-guy. I asked him if he wld like to get a ticket and he jus stepped up to me, seemingly interested and his friends walked past saying 'you good!'

then when i was about to explain about MINDS, he said' sorry i really want to buy but i no money with me' in a jokingly manner. URGH. gosh. hey this is community service. no joke. if you think its funny, well thats your problem but it's NOT funny AT ALL.

I was still like quite glad to know that teenaged-guys are not so bad. aww. how wrong i was. yy and i decided to walk to the other side of city hall, near funan mall. There were 3 tickets left in the booklet then and so yups we went.

There was this really funny incident which happened to us there. There were this foreign couple. Yes they are really tall. And yy and i was standing in the middle of the pathway. yea i noe it was wrong but it didnt really occur to us at that time. So they were walking towards us and holding hands and when they were passing us, they didnt let go of their hands and they just raised up their hands together above us. and walked past us. yy and i were both shocked. hahas nothing like this has happened to us in history before. hahas its really pretty cute as you can see the contrast in height. but its like unbelievable. we seemed so tiny standing between them. LOL. yy commented that she felt like she was playing london bridge (: creative mindset har. hahas

then we managed to sell one ticket to an elderly auntie. Yups. Then we bought the remaining two tickets. Headed to the outside of erh raffles city. fran and clar went to submit the funds they collected. Saw wx collecting the funds and packing kit kats. bwahahas. me and yy stood beside the escalator and waved. hahas. then took mrt home with them.

hmmm today's a meaningful day and definitely bond the few of us haojiemeis together. hahas. Really looking forward to another meaningful sunday spent next week. And of cos hopefully a breakfast with my sistas (: Gonna listen to the LA lectures. tata.

Serve the community. Make a difference (:

Saturday, August 6

touched

jus read jingle's blog. was really touched by what she said to me. hahas her blog dun have tagboard so i cant tag. There was this part of her entries which was really interesting. Check it out (: hahas.

anyway twin. I am always here for you. Dont worry kaes. We are twins you see. I will scream with you when you are pissed off with life. I will cry with you when you are sad. I will laugh with you when you are happy and I will brave through thick and thin, rain and storm with you. Cos you are you (: heeees.

What are twins for? For sharing everything. hehehes Just wanna say again. I am and will always be here for you. I promise. Confirm guarantee plus chop. LOL

I learn that from jiamin. i think its really interesting.

contact lens

hm I'm really looking forward to the CIP tomorrow. We will be selling donation tickets for MINDS. JH, YL, YY, Jingle and me will be selling the tickets at bedok. Pls come and support us and help the less fortunate. Doing a good deed would really make your day you know (:

Hm it's supposed to be my class CIP but I don't think the whole class will be going to the same venue which defeats the purpose of doing a class activity and improving our class spirit. Anyway will be meeting with the others for breakfast tomorrow before starting CIP. Yay. I am so super excited. Whee.

We were told to wear blue through the email from the Socrates but I don't have blue shirt. So yeps. After CIP we shall go shopping at bedok interchange. That's another thing to look forward. Life can be so meaningful when you don't keep looking back. There are just so many things to look forward to in life that looking back to your past will only bring you to nowhere. But my memories. Oh never mind.

I'm wearing contact lens now. Hm my eyes are kind of dry. Going to take them out soon. I am glad that the LA online lesson videos are still at the website. Going to check them out later.

YY and Jingle called me just now. They were out on an excursion for History. Then they said they were waiting for the president and that Miss Devi went to buy drinks for them. Hahas. That phone call really did brighten up my day. Today's a rather boring day. Nothing exciting has happened.

I still havent develop the photos taken in London and Paris and Germany. Grrr I am like dying to put the photos into my new photo album. Hopefully I can get them developed REAL soon.

Would be dropping by at Hang Ten tomorrow to get new red tee for National Day if there are nice ones. My mom just lent me her member card. OHya Just remembered that there's Jollibean or Mr Bean at Bedok. Gonna buy the soya bean pearl milk. Yummy. I want to go Watson too.

Don't know if we have to wear school skirts tomorrow for the CIP. Was thinking of wearing jeans. Hahas. Sms-ed one of the socrates but she didn't reply so if she still doesn't reply I think I will wear my school skirt with sports shoes.

Hmm I mentioned something like 'loving you makes me an angel without wings' in the entry yesterday night when I was in a SO terrible mood. Well I overheard this phrase in Chinese over the fm 933 radio station during music diary.

ai ni de ren jiu xiang duan le chi bang de tian shi

The DJ didn't explain or elaborate then it was really amazing to realise that I could actually elaborate and crap about it when I was feeling rotten last night. And my explanation seemed rater logical.

Loving you makes me an angel without wings. Your love took my wings away. Makes me transform into a ordinary being and fall into a bottomless pit. Without my wings, I might still be an angel. An unknown one. Almost without identity. And without my wings I can't fly out of the bottomless pit, only able to fall deeper and deeper into it. What's worse is that you didn't catch me when I fall. You make me fall in love with you and you hurt me. You break my heart and forsake me. So if I have the choice, I would choose my wings instead of you. With my wings, I could fly. I could fly up high in the sky, with my worries and troubles lagging behind me and I don't have to care about them. I could fly till a place filled with happiness and joy. No sorrow and tears. But if I choose to love you, I would only live in misery forever. Yearning for your never-possible love.

Hahas. I have always love the song 'Chi Xin Jue Dui' by Li Sheng Jie. The lyrics are meaningful.

Xiang yong yi bei latte ba ni guan zui (How I wish to make you drunk with a cup of Latte)
Hao rang ni neng duo ai wo yi dian (So that you could love me more)
An lian de zi wei (The flavour of admiring someone secretly)
Ni bu dong zhe zhong gan jue (You will never understand this type of feeling)
Zao you ren pei de ni yong yuan bu (You will never understand as you already as someone by your side)

Latte can never make one drunk. It could only make her more clear-minded than before and it would never be possible for her to love him AT ALL. See the irony. The flavour of him admiring the girl secretly could never be understood by the girl as she already has someone by her side.

Kan jian ni he ta zai wo mian qian (Seeing the both of you)
Zheng ming wo de ai zhi shi yu mei (Is evident that it's all my wishful thinking)
Ni bu dong wo de na xie qiao cui (You never know why I am emaciated)
Shi ni yong yuan bu cen guo de ti hui (You will never experience the feelings I am experiencing)

Seeing the girl and her boyfriend together makes him realise that it's all his wishful thinking. She has never loved him. It's a one-sided love and an unrequited one unfortunately. You are living happily with your prince. You will never know how devastated I am.

ah ha. the chorus (below) is the most meaningful.

Wei ni fu chu na zhong shang xin ni yong yuan bu liao jie
(You will never understand the sadness and heartbreaks you caused me to experience)

Wo you he ku mian qiang zi ji ai shang ni de yi qie
(Why should I force myself to fall in love with your everything)
Ni you hen hen bi tui wo de fang bei
(And you keep compelling back my guarding against you ruthlessly)
Jing jing guan shang men lai mo shu wo de lei
(I count my tears in silence behind the door)

Ming zhi dao rang ni li kai ta de shi jie bu ke neng hui
(Although I know very well that it's impossible to let you leave him)
Wo hai sha sha deng dao qi ji chu xian de na yi tian
(Yet I still wait patiently for the day when a miracle will happen)
Zhi dao na yi tian ni hui fa xian
(Till one day you shall realise)
Zhen zheng ai ni de ren du zi shou zhi shang bei
(The person who has been loving you truely has been living with heartbreaks alone all this while)

nice har? Sorrie for my lousy translation. Some of the words are directly translated. Apologies for that. Sigh unrequited love. Infatuation. This reminds me of Mr Ken's lecture on Viola's love for Orsino. Well for your info, they are characters in Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, another of his romantic comedies. Viola is so giving and Orsino is so taking so they makes a perfect couple. But I cant't stand Orsino's self indulgence and him being in love with the idea of in love. It's so ridiculous. But love is blind you see. That's a good example. I better stop this before I go on and on about how love is blind and that friendship isn't.

It hit upon me today that friendship and kinship are essential in life. Just like the phone call Jingle and YY gave just now in the evening. It just brightened up my day. Kinship. Yesterday there was this huge cockroach in my toilet and I woke my grandmom up to catch it. Heee. See our loved ones are always there to care for us, protect us, brave with us the rain and storm.

But love? You have to give so much and you might not even receive anything in return. Or maybe you don't even ask for anything in return. But what if you only receive a heartbreak after all your givings and everything? What comes next? Devastation. Why bring this upon you? Instead of wasting your time, efforts and feelings on someone you know whom isn't worth it, why not do some community service activites and serve the community? It will definitely bring you some kind of satisfaction as you are helping others, doing good deeds.

I will never forget the feelings I get after doing CIP. Whether is it bringing the elderly to the Botanic Garden or on an Orchard Road tour or giving the juniors tuition. It should all come from the heart. Sincerely and whole-heartedly.

And at least you will know that it's all worth it (: