bad day. bad day BAD DAY

well today's a bad day and when I say its bad, it really is BAD this time. I have so much to complain about and my temper and mood swings getting worse and worse as the days go by. Depression sinks in and sorrow overwhelms me. life is no longer sweet.

everything in life just seems like a flop at this instant. what a bummer. Am I going to spend my last few months of my fifteen-year-old life like this??? There dont seem to be anything for me to look forward to anymore. And my ambition seems to falter and fade slowly. Even my passion threatens to disppear any moment. Is this how life is supposed to be?

When there is life, there is hope. Yea its true... but not all the time. When things start going wrong, it's hard to stay optimistic, plastering a smile over the face and smiling like there is no tomorrow. Its not that I dont like to smile. I dont have the energy to. The anxiety of life is getting to me, way too heavy.

Firstly, how do you gain respect when you dont respect others? Respect is a moral value. It has absolutely nothing to do with wisdom, intelligence or whateverso. It has nothing to do with status and superiority. To me, every human being on this earth deserves to be respected. Let's talk about people around us. Respect basically refers to the application of manners when borrowing one's property and most importantly, to me, it's also not restricting one's creativity. Being creative is a virtue especially to teenagers like us. This advanced world is all about creativity and innovations. And restricting them only serves to waste our precious youth.

Secondly, how do you expect others to be responsible when you are not? Especially when they are your juniors or someone under you. Do you think they will be motivated to be responsible? If no one cares. why should I care? If it's no one's business then why is it my business? If others can heck care, so can I. Typical mindset and undesired consequences. And yes indeed, this world is turning to be very undesirable. Or rather teenage life.

Thirdly. is volunteering work supposed to be a torture? NO! obviously not. Bringing happiness to others also brings joy to oneself. And not bringing happiness to others yet being unhappy. There is no genuine sincerity in bringing joy to others. You are doing so because it's an obligation. It's a duty. It's something against your will and definitely not voluntary.

Last but not the least, why does it never rain but pour?

Today, something weird happened in school after cca. Jue Hui and I went to the canteen to wait for our dads to fetch us then we decided to walk around the school field. Then we kept hearing thunder. It was around 5pm then. I saw lightning so both of us headed back to the canteen. The thunder continued to roar but there was NO rain. All the way till 530pm plus. There's still no raindrop but the roaring of the thunder continued. ER?

end of march hols 2006

back from tm. march hols end officially today and tadaa... there's school tmr. I am not sure if i should be looking forward to it or feel sad that the hols is ending... sigh. march hols are always like this but last year's was slightly different cos i went to paris and london during the one-week holiday then suffered from jet lag after returning to Singapore and having tonnes of homework undone. bummer.

this hols was not too bad. I did homework and stuff. Only that I didnt get to go out with my friends. ah nvm. june holidays will always come, together with my 16th birthday... WHEE. ah ha that's something i look forward to but before that i have to endure the reopening of school tmr. ohwells.

went to guardian at tm jus now. whitening foundation and protective tanning oil. how ironic.

friends forever

dammit

dammit dammit dammit dammit. I wont elaborate on why I am pissed off in case I offend some people here. I shall be sensitive in my words.

Will be going out later to my grandparents' house and maybe catch a movie on the way or sth. haiya. totally pissed off and not in the mood. ah listening to my zen neeon might help.

Just replied cheryl's email. realised I miss her alot... cindy too. in fact my pri sch life, pri sch friends and pri sch teachers. I havent really gotten over the traumatising experience of leaving pri sch. I still miss the past a whole lot which is really unrealistic as everyone knows that it's impossible to go back to the past. What i can do now is treasure the present cos a few years later it will become the past. and pri sch, the past past. ha ha funny. but why am i not laughing.

maybe i should learn how to draw a clown face who looks like it's crying and laughing at the same time.

where are you?

should be doing research

hm just did a quiz... really should be finding pictures now for my biology concept map but somehow I just continued to procrastinate. Went to the official book handover ceremony at temasek poly this morning. It was much more enjoyable than I expected except for that scary moment which I am not going to elaborate much on. Cos it's too embarrassing x)

Mr Sng long bang us to tampines MRT then me and jh headed to popular. How studious we are =D then flipped and browsed through books and stuff. Ah bored. Saw music diary cd but didnt buy. It's quite expensive... ok laa considered cheap for a cd but I dont really get cd nowadays so yea. But if it contains that fairytale story which I heard over the radio last year, I am definitely getting it. Took MRT home. Didnt shop around cos hmm nothing much to shop. No money also. Money for lunch was saved cos there was buffet at the ceremony lol. It was a wonderful experience and I totally love TP!! If i were to go to that school, i will want to study applied food science and nutrition. I have a cousin studying that... and another cousin studying engineering at tp. Ah food nutrition is so cool.

yep. Holidays have seemingly just started but it seems to be ending real soon. Today's wednesday already. 4 more days and tadaa~ back to school. I dont dread going back to school... But i need longer holidays. There are currently so many movies which I want to watch. Just that time and money are the limiting factors laa. haiyaya.

HRSS booth's a real success. A big thank you to everyone from dhs who supported. However the ylmp project didnt seem to have a complete wrap up or sth. Ah gonna do something about it. Campus superstar, congrats to Clara. You totally rock! POWER! Hm i am quite disappointed that yuyang got eliminated. He has the potential... and he resembles jaychou a little. and whoa he sings jay's songs really well. hm yep. hope he continue to jiayou bahs.

alright i shall go get started on my homework and hopefully complete them in time. Then hope that i can catch a movie tomorrow.... life goes on...

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

as long as you are happy

arrival of march holidays

WHEE. the march holidays are here!!! I was out the whole day yesterday. Went to my maternal grandparents' house as well as my uncle's house. Attended his neighbour's daughter's wedding buffet. Then played with my cousins. Became closer with Huixuan. All thanks to the wang wang I bought for her. LOL she likes to eat as much as I do =D

Before going to my uncle's house, my mom and I went to Causeway Point's popular. Then at night after dinner at my grandparents' house, we went to Sheng Siong then my mom and I took MRT home. I've started reading 'Crying Out Love in The Center of the World'. The front part which I am currently reading is kinda boring but I guess it's slowly building up the climax perhaps.

I spent most of today slacking... I will start on my holidays homework tomorrow. WHEE. Will be going to suntec city later for the IT show... Hm Maybe I can finaly get a power adaptor for my zen neeon =)

My holidays are getting on great and it would definitely be better if I get a new hp. But the problem is I dunno which model to get. I grew sick of clamshell phones. As for sliding phones, I was only interested in Nokia 6111 PINK. But it's out of stock. There is no way I am going to get the black one. Ok it's classy but not my type. I shall go check out the nokia website. cya.

WISHLIST

I know I havent been blogging for some time... and now that I've come online using the desktop in my living room to access the Chem powerpoints on Edulearn, I might as well come here and blog a little...

I seriously have some stuff to add on to my wishlist. Firstly, Nokia 6111. PINK one to be more exact. LOL I just love it so much.

Secondly I need a thumbdrive with bigger space so I no need to run to and fro between my room and the living room. It is a disaster for my laptop to not have any internet access. Alright it does have wireless internet but the connection is so slow that it can be neglected. ARGH. And the printer cum scanner cum photocopier is connected to my laptop and NOT the desktop and that doubles the inconvenience caused. Boohoo. How sweet is life har? I wont ask for a new internet connection for I have just recontracted. I shall be contented with just a thumbdrive with bigger space. thank you LOL.

Thirdly, I need a power adapter for my zen neeon. This item is not so important though. Btw I listened to the radio just now and the male contestants from Campus Superstar were on the radio show. I only heard the last part where they asked for votes. then the presenter was laughing so hysterically... and they seemed to be having fun recording the radio show. haha. I support Adriano!!! He is real cute lor.

Anyway I think my blog's getting more and more siannnnzzz but what can i do? My printer cum scanner cum photocopier is connected to my laptop and the program to transfer my photos from the camera is installed in my laptop as well so it will not be that convenient for me to load pictures into my blog and thats such a bummer. I am still trying hard to adjust to the new way of living, and that is not having direct access to internet in my laptop. It's really hard but I guess I am coping well. At least now I only use the desktop& internet when necessary. I shall be optimistic. Lifei s still sweet... I realised my mood has improved slightly these few days. Good good.

Went to geylang east library with Pei Yu yesterday. I returned the only library book I had with me, although I havent finish reading it, to be more exact, havent start reading it. Yep but I just cant survive going to a library without borrowing books. But it's a good thing I am tempted by romance novels and NOT chocolate. I fell in love with Chinese romance novels. I dunno why but I think Chinese romance novels are able to convey the meaning better... I borrowed this book which was made into a movie last year... Crying out Love in the Center of the World. And a recent movie, My Girl and I is also based on that movie. I am definitely catching 'My Girl and I'. WHEE. Yea even after the bad experience from watching Season for Love. There were no tears in my eyes at all. But thinking back. the stories were quite touching especially the part where the girl's boyfriend who is a fireman, confessed his love for the last time to a video camera cos he knew he was trapped in the fire and will die. Aww the girl was actually the last person on his mind before his death. How touching.

Ok you might think i am going bonkers or what. But I think indulging in the world of novels and movies is better than indulging in teenage love or rather crushes in reality. Nothing is forever and I wont take the risk. At least not for the time being.

i love reading (:

the library... so familiar yet so different... without your presence.