Sunday, November 13

back blogging...

Ok I am back here blogging after being pissed off by my stupid sotong personality just now.

So ya we went to send Yy and the others off at the airport. Took 3J group photos and my camera proved itself to be the lousiest thing ever lived. But fortunately Cecilia's camera snapped a nice photo of us. And yays unity finally!! 3J whoosh.

After that we sent hugs and kisses to the people... Yuhan started taking advantages of us. Wahahas. and she made a really really dorts comment.

After that Yl and I took MRT home and thankfully for her, I exited from the correct door, to the correct side of the station where the train heading to boon lay is.

Listened to my zen throughout the train journey. Ah what can i say except that I LOVE MY ZEN TO BITS laa.

On Thursday night, Jh, Yh and I pia-ed Germany Immersion Project till midnight. I slept at around 4am and on Friday morning we suffered the biggest shock of our life. Due to some technical problems, we lost our itinerary!!!! Ahhhh. We tried not to think about it but disappointment and depression just overwhelmed us. Started playing bridge. I listened to Zen and read my storybook...Jh and Jingles were busy cross-stitching Yl's bookmark.

Then lent Jm my zen. And he didnt know how to use it. After all his is zen micro and mine is zen neeon. Different model. So far I havent known of anyone who owns a zen neeon. And he was searching for english songs in my zen. I am a ultimate fan of Mandopop so it's pretty obvious my zen is filled with Mandopop songs... like those by Jay Chou, Li Sheng Jie etc. Except for a few English oldies love songs la. Like erm Because I love you by Shakins Stevens or sth. Songs by Air Supply and Savage Garden.

And during the game of bridge, Jingles kept going on and on about how much she wished to learn dance. Apparently she could learn ballroom dancing with someone mahs =D

Anyone has nice English songs to recommend? Btw I havent buy JayChou's latest album yet!!!

Sorry for digressing. So yups. Then three of us suffered an ultimate humiliation by some people whose existence doesnt even matter in this world. Super super dorts. I shant honour so much space of my blog entry to some kind of worthless people.

So much has happened. I read Jingles' blog and she has been really reflective. And I am going to do exactly what she did.

My life. My life. My life. My life. My FIFTEEN-year life. My teenage life.

If i were to be brought onto this world again, I would still want to be Annabel.

I have such a nice christian name even though I am a buddhist. I have a pleasant Chinese name too. And I am blessed enough to have single-eyelids though some people think it's nothing to be proud about.

I have grandparents, parents, uncles, aunties, cousins and teachers who dote on me. I have friends to share my joy and sorrow with, to quarrel and fight with, to giggle and scream with. I studied in GMPS and got to know many friends and teachers whom I will remember for life. I experienced being in a uniform group (girls' brigade) and the toughness of doing drills and the joy during recreational activities. I was given a chance to learn piano and my biggest regret was quitting it halfway. I really shouldnt have withdrew. I should have persevered all the way through and now I will be able to play 'Tong hua' on the piano instead of dreaming about it and being envious of those who could play.

But still it's part of my life and I really treasure the period when I learnt piano from a nice teacher. I felt honoured to be able to join GMPS Prefectorial Board in 2000 and appointed as a P4 Representative. 2000 was a tough year for me, where I had to brave through storms and finding myself. But in the end, I only disappointed myself as well as those who had believed in me.

In 2001, I bucked up and repented. I learnt from my mistakes. And I picked myself up again. I made sure I didnt repeat the mistakes I made in 2000. I got into 5 Charity and made new friends, had wonderful teachers. In 2002, one of the important years in my life. I continued working hard. I aimed for Dunman High, my dream school. I worked out my life carefully. I treasured time spent with my classmates, friends, teachers and juniors. I doted on the juniors. I was appointed as Assistant Head prefect. I made sure that my duties were fulfilled. The remedials and supplementary lessons after school to prepare ourselves for the PSLE were always enjoyable. The knowledge we gained, the fun we had, always remembered and held dearly in my heart.

The trips to the library after PSLE, that particular basketball match, the 6Ch chalet with the truth or dare game, the trips to escape theme park. All and all.

In Sec 1, i was accidentally appointed as the monitress of 1D'03. I was struggling and trying real hard to adapt to secondary school life with a totally new environment and new friends, classmates and teachers. I had to accept the fact that looks are important. I struggled with my identity. There were periods of tears and depressions. Plain misery. But I am glad I finally adapted and found myself.

In sec2, I was still the monitress. Worked together with Mrs Lim SK who is really understanding and knowledgeable. Became a PSL and kept a low profile all along. I wasnt enthu, no one knew me. But I am not that pathetic, I have my friends and I am real thankful for that.

In sec3, which is this year. My life took a turn for the better. I thought life in 3J will be terrible and that I will have to deal with loneliness every single day since I was the only one from 2D to be in 3J. It was a blessing in disgust... Jh was assigned to my class on the first day of school and I couldnt be happier. Although i wasnt really close to her then, at least we were in the same cca. And now, i treat her like a sister. hahas. I am also in the student council.. and given opportunities to plan activities and such. I worked with my fellow peers and teachers. I am appointed as SPC of art club... and took part in the planning of acitivities as well as the gossipping etc etc. I have a sense of belonging to art club and I am proud to say that i am a member of art club. I also joined community service club just recently and participated in a service learning workshop not long ago where I learnt skills of service learning.

SC camp was totally cool. And 3J has been a fabulous class. Though we might not be that united yet, we have a sense of belonging to the class. The painting of the classroom, the sec3 level camp, the cny decorations and games, the interclass matches, mask making competition on national day, dunmanian idol on youth day, partying on teachers' day. All in all, we have participated as a class. YAYS. I am hoping that we will get a class tee soon and have a class chalet this hols. I dont want this wishes to end up as regrets and I am pretty sure that i wont get disappointed right?

And of cos the overseas immersion trips, firstly the arts trip to paris and london. Charmaine was a lovely roomate to have. Always wanting to be pampered and stuff. Qingzi was fatherly and I was known to be motherly. The card games played till late at night, the cooking of maggie noodles and the fear of the unknown. The touring of arts museum and tourist attractions, the climbing of the eiffel tower, the flights, the meals, the shopping, the chocolate i bought, the hot chocolate we enjoyed when the weather's really cold, and of cos the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and the eurostar train journey from london to paris.

Ah I miss Paris and London.

Now the germany trip. It was fun having jh as my roommate, playing cards on the flight to amsterdam, borrowing tissue papers from her and yuhan thanks to my terrible flu. How i started sneezing and all when we were only at the waiting hall at changi airport.
ah i am back from my bath and finally back to my senses. I realised that i can only charge my zen using the computer/laptop so if i want to listen to my zen tmr then i must charge it today. Alright thats my theory whatsoever la.

Let me continue about the germany trip. Playing erm daidee on the plane all the way from the centre to the left. Asking for plain water and apple juice instead of soft drinks. Those games of heart attacks. Two 'drunkards' beside me. Exchanging of food during meal time. Seeing jh's expression. That dumbo aircon blasting its cool air on me. Reading of one of the book from the shopaholic series. Actually I cant remember much except that I kept sneezing and ate two tablets of panadol.

Those restaurants we went for meals. Classy and nice. The hotel room me and jh got, which is in fact meant for couples on honeymoon. The tv with 'Mr Goh Jue Hui', the see thru curtains. That round and bowl-like sink. The cosy beds. The gossips and giggles we shared. Buffet breakfast. The cereals, sausages and scrambled eggs. The filling of water bottles. The power jh possess to slant-look. LOL

The berlin wall, the jewish museum, dachau conc camp, salt mine, olympic stadium, castle... How we always ask for a sec3 dhp grp photo to be taken whenever we reached a tourist destination. The hostel we stayed in. The singing of songs at the top of our voices. Me being the alarm clock for the four of us. The morning call we gave to the others. The usual routine for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The icecream we bought from the store just opposite the hostel. caramel, chocolate, vanilla, ginger, coffee... it all contributed to my gaining of weight but i didnt care. The 'excitement' we got everytime we accidentally walked on the bicycle track and the guys screaming at us to get off it. the teddy bear i bought. the last even stroll before we leave germany. the bus journey to austria from munich etc etc. The gloomy-ness and ap-ness i showed. the fun and laughters we shared, the care we showed.

I treasured it. I really do. Ah I miss germany! and all the debriefings held every night!

Precious memories are those :D

Being a CPA, a helper in prefect workshop and everything.

All these are bits and pieces of my life. How can i not love it. its just totally wonderful. I've learnt to treasure and appreciate. Just like what Mr Helmi said, live every minute of your life. It might jus be that special moment. I think my biggest regret this life would be not treasuring him.

He was there for me. He respected me. He cared for me. But I wasnt sure if he loved me. Aiya sensitive question.

Things changed. Personalities as well. But i didnt expect all these at that time. I passed each day like each day passes. I didnt think about the future. I didnt treasure him. I thot he will be there for me forever. He was my prince.

i missed him terribly. I cried. I teared. I weeped. But it's over. No one said anything but i knew it. this is the biggest regret of my life. but i am already thankful that i got to meet him at least. I still miss him but i am happy as long as he is happy.

and... i just saw him yesterday.

what's over is over. But the memories remain. He is always my friend. We will never be together. so thats it. Just not meant to be. I hope that he is safe and sound always.

WTH. How did this post get so emotional and all.

Sigh. But as i have said, i will learn to cherish. I have accepted this reality and persuaded myself to move on with life and accept others. I will really treasure if there is someone whom erm... forget it, i dont know how to phrase it. But i will treasure.

I just bought a new wallet yesterday from the wallet shop. My mom dont really like the wallet but i like it.

hmm i think i have to go. Gonna write postcards for those going overseas tmr. Jingles' flight at 9am. means i have to take bus at erm 8 am? Jh havent call me yet. And jingles has not told me her row number. There's csc committee meeting tomorrow too. and the shopping for orientation stuff.

Life goes on as usual. Life is still sweet. Life's filled with memories, both sweet and bitter. The password to life is to treasure.

Still missing him.


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