Friday, September 8

Retail Therapy... at PP

Just reached home. I oveslept this morning. Supposed to reach school for my group's rehearsal at 7 am which means I should wake up at 6am but unfortunately, I couldnt... cos I slept at 2am last night.

I can't say that today is a good day for me. It didn't turn out right initially anyway. The Nanjing briefing... the rehearsals for teachers to preview. Nothing went my way. Yea I was grumpy, I looked sad, I felt emo. I kept wailing about not wanting to go Nanjing. Looking at other groups' items, I have to say that I feel that our group's performance is kinda inferior compared to them. I had an internal struggle within myself. On the outside, I was trying to convince people about just doing our best for our own performance. Deep down inside I felt the same as they do.

Geminis are known to have a dual personality. I guess that's what I have. A pair of twins with totally different ideals and perception, inside of me. It can be both good or bad. But for today, just now, in school, it wasn't good.

My heart was telling me that I don't want to go Nanjing. My mind was telling me 'No you don't have a choice.' I was lost. I was at a loss of what to do. I chose to rely on my mind. Cos my heart usually leads me to nowhere, after so many experiences. I started thinking about the stuff to pack to Nanjing. Then I remembered I don't have enough pairs of socks. And so I went to PP to get them. I didn't get any socks in the end cos Mini Toons don't sell the type I want anymore and there's no more '3 pairs for 5 dollars'.

I think I saw Kim Wakerman at Mini Toons with her friends. My heart was too heavy and I felt antisocial so I didn't really bother about the people and surroundings. I just wanted to walk my own lane and ponder about my thoughts in my own world.

Yea my day in school was bad right? But some things happened to turn it around. I felt better. Despite the fact that I was at PP all alone with an extremely heavy bag and a damn antisocial look on my face that says 'I am in a bad mood'. But well some things and people just turned it around. I am thankful for that.

Things that turned my bad day around:
1. Famous Amos (No nuts chocolate chip cookies)

2. The time I spent at MPH

3. The two books I bought from MPH

4. The friendly SBS bus 155 driver

5. The drizzle

Yea when I was walking from PP to the bus stop, it started drizzling. I didn't have an umbrella with me and since it's a drizzle, no big deal la. When I reached my bus stop, it was still drizzling, I walked in the drizzle and looked down at the ground. The raindrops hit me and the ground was slowly filled with round stains of water. It was windy, cooling. It's like the wind is trying to blow all my troubles and woes away. Yea.

Sometimes it's these little things in life that makes life. It's the pain and hardship that we've to go through that made us human. We should learn to treasure these things. Cos life is uncertain.

Life is really uncertain.

My neighbour's granny just passed away. She was alright when I went over to help her grandson fixed his internet connection. She was talking and smiling to me. I also remembered the day I watched 'The Devil Wears Prada', I was frightened by this cat loitering outside my flat. That day the floor was re-cemented and so I had to walk back to my flat on wooden planks. My sense of balancing is lousy la. Yea and I am kind of phobic towards cats then I was outside my neighbour's flat trying to shoo that cat away by making hissing sounds. Then the granny came out and told me not to be scared. Then she tried to help me shoo the cat away.

And now she is gone. It's so sudden. I am at a loss of words.

How uncertain life is...

If only we learn to treasure. If only we don't take things for granted.

Sometimes life is just too short... and uncertain.


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